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February 29, 2016 Hi {!firstname_fix} I just did a big clean up in and out of my house. I was getting an appraisal so it was a good excuse to clear stuff out. That sure was fascinating. I love how it feels. I took the picture I have made of Ronan and Pepper to the framer so that should be ready when I get back from Ranch. I am offering a special that is pretty unique. I had a couple of people talk with me about the Signature Consultation that David featured 2 weeks ago. I agreed that if someone signs up to start the Signature program, I will include the tuition to Ranch. If you are already signed up for Ranch, and decide you would like to do the Signature process, then I will credit your ranch tuition. I will only be offering this special for one week. Email me if you have any questions. 
I posted a picture of Pepper with her puppies on Facebook. That was a result of a very specific action I took. I knew that the day of Ronan’s death was sitting in my amygdala like a little beacon and clobbering me. I decided that I need to rewire the images. I started doing the Safe Place meditation and when I got into my safe place, I brought the image of Pepper and her puppies with that central pup (it was Ronan) smiling out over his brothers and sisters. it sure did the trick. I guess all our amygdala work over the years can serve us in strange ways. I feel way better and now am experiencing my angel dogs guiding me.Looking forward to EuroRanch! This class will begin Wednesday, March 2, 2016. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:
There will be no classes the week of Wednesday, March 9, 2016 while I am in England doing Radiant Ranch. Check the class list page for more information on how the classes work. See the the Class Schedule here. Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly. Warmly, Kathleen **********************************************************************
**Quote From Kathleen**If you don't have a journal, you have no record of your process. If you don't keep a journal, your body has no way to talk with you. **********************************************************************
**Testimonial of the Week**Hi all, funny thing happened Thursday. I was in the school I teach in on Thursdays. Every year at this time my computer classes get pre- empted by some concert or some special event. And every year I never get any advance notice. And every year I get po'ed and kvetch up and down the hall to whomever will listen and then leave the building and go home (sheepish grin). Until this year. I don't know how many of you have been going to chat, but this past Wednesday Kathleen talked about scrunching and then laughing when old destructive patterns begin to take hold. Scrunch through the emotion and laugh it away. In my first class on Thursday, the teacher started grumping, as she usually does this time of year. And I, Puck that I am these days, got the kids doing a wave, LOL. The teacher started laughing and class proceeded to lighten up. And as I figured, as we lightened up, the kids concentrated more. And then the teacher lightened up even more. And so on. You get the picture. So class ended pleasantly and we accomplished a lot. So I was feeling good and laughing. Then, WHAM, my schedule gets interrupted--as it does every year. Concert rehearsals and what not derailing my entire day. But try as I might, I could not get the grump going. I couldn't kvetch, no matter how many trips I made up and down the hallway. It just wouldn't come. And when I realized what I was trying to do--I started laughing. And when I realized how gloriously I was failing at it, I laughed even more. Of course, some things never change. I left the building and went home (VBG). Ann Margaret **********************************************************************
**Interesting Bits of Science**The scent of lavender is calming. If you have an oil atomizer, get lavender oil for it. I don’t think this will work for commercial *scents* but try the oil and see what it does. **********************************************************************
**Notes from the Forum **In Response To: Re: Lost my momentum..... Nice to see you! How funny, I don't quite know what it is, but I find with the Yahoo lists I have to concentrate really hard. But the Community Forum really suits the way my brain is wired. Maybe that's another reason I love forum so much. Am so glad you are feeling a little better. And hooray for eight weeks of breakfast. Mosaic **********************************************************************
**Radiant Recovery® Store**Our truckload of George’s® Restore is arriving on Tuesday so all your orders will go out then. We will be looking at some new products over the next week. I think you will be excited to see what we are bringing in. Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better. **********************************************************************
**Radiant Kitchen**LEMON CHICKEN STIR FRY Ingredients:
Process:
Serve immediately with brown rice. Yield: 4 servings
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**Radiant Your Last Diet**We are going to be looking at the whole question of *grain free* in YLD over the next few weeks. I know a lot of you are looking at this and I think it will be helpful to have some of the science pros and cons. I will also be sharing how being sugar sensitive factors into this behavior. If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here **********************************************************************
**Radiant Living**During last week’s chat, we talked about how the program evolves with more skill. It was a fabulous discussion to reflect on what we are actually *doing* rather than assuming everyone is on a straight path of *perfection*...None of us 1s, but we are learning an extraordinary amount about what builds program strength and what dissipates it. I think we are moving to a whole new level. This is where the cutting edge of our conversations is happening. Come join us if you want to be a part of it. If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here **********************************************************************
**Don’t Ask Me Why I Stayed Though**Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.
I was so moved by how articulate Michelle was in describing her abusive relationship. Then Michelle said, *Don’t ask me why I stayed though.* I think this is an important question. Abuse is not just about the perpetrator, it is also about the *staying.* I have worked with hundreds of people in abusive situations. And we always talk about “Why you stay.” Certain people have sugar sensitive brains that come with special wiring. We are intuitive, caring, and have a hard time saying no, a hard time setting boundaries. It leads to letting people take advantage of us, walking all over us or hurting us. We have a low tolerance for pain, both emotional and physical. We may feel inadequate, less than, not worth it, not loved, not valued because of our biochemistry. We can be attractive and still feel unacceptable on the inside. When we feel this way, we are drawn to a person or situation that makes us feel accepted. On a molecular level, we will seek out a situation that gives us even a little sense of someone wanting us, someone taking care of us. We feel drawn to the person who makes us feel okay. This is biochemical and it makes it tricky. When we get hurt, our body releases beta-endorphin. The beta-endorphin is a painkiller. Our body has it to protect us in the times of danger. If a tiger bites our leg and we need to run, beta-endorphin will override the pain and let us get away. When we eat sugar, or drink alcohol, we get a rise in beta-endorphin as well. And for those of us who have low beta-endorphin, we learn very early on that we can find huge comfort in sweet and fat foods. We stop hurting when we have them. Our beta-endorphin levels rise and we feel confident, attractive, valued and accepted. Over time, we become attached to the comfort. And we become numb. We do not make the connection that the abuse, the situation causing the pain, is also having a chemical effect. When we get hurt emotionally, the same thing happens. Someone yells at us, someone puts us down, if we get hit, or verbally abused, our beta-endorphin level goes up. Our rational brain may tell us this is not okay, but our neurochemical brain actually relies on the feeling of being able to manage that comes from the beta-endorphin. It is an anesthetic and an amnesiac. The part of us that says, “I can just sit this out, I am strong,” comes from the rise in beta-endorphin. We feel better; we believe things will be ok. Until the beta-endorphin bath wears off. Then we feel hopeless, inadequate and unable to move. We don’t understand why sometimes we feel so resolute and able to cope and other times, we are paralyzed. And we think that we are the problem. Most likely our abuser tells us that as well. We often hear “if YOU would just...” And the sad thing is we actually think that is the truth. It fits with how we feel on the inside. We go back, or we stay. We make do because we feel we are not worth more or because we feel we have no skills, no way to support ourselves. We are ashamed that we cannot resolve this. We hide it and act as if things are all right. People tell us that we should get out, we should leave, but we don’t. We say, “Don’t ask me why I stay.” What is that about? On some level we are “hooked” on the dance of beta-endorphin. The fights, the abuse, while on the surface seem horrible, on another level are creating the biochemistry that allows us to function. If we go away and don’t have the “hit” [literally and figuratively], we go into withdrawal. The old feelings of helplessness and inadequacy return. So we go back. We cannot see the dynamic. Our friends think we are nuts. We think they do not understand. What is the way out? We heal the biochemistry. The steps outlined in Potatoes Not Prozac, something we call “Doing the food,” changes The biochemistry. We get clear. We start feeling ok and whole and capable. We start seeing the reality of the situation. Our beta-endorphin levels go up. We start saying no to abuse. We say, “This won’t work for me.” We set boundaries. We are even and calm and clear. We don’t need the “hit.” Read that again. We don’t NEED it. We are not hooked on the hit any more. Now, if you haven’t done the food yet, this idea is going to seem totally outrageous to you. How in the world can food have an impact on my abusive boyfriend or boss or parent? This is a BIOCHEMICAL issue. Doing the food alters the biochemistry that makes us feel we deserve being put down or hurt. It alters the dance. So we leave, or we put a stop to it. **********************************************************************
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Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:
Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together. David runs the Radiant Recovery® Store. Mosaic contributes to the Notes from the Forum column. ©2016 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://radiantrecovery.com/learn/newsletter/ |
