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March 26, 2012 Hi {!firstname_fix} 
Well, today is the first anniversary of my Josie's death. I planned for the flowers I will plant at her grave. Pepper and Ronan and I will spend some time in the morning talking about her. I think it is good to honor the memory of the people and pets we have loved.You will see that this issue of the newsletter has a lot about joy in it. I think this is where recovery takes us. I will look forward to your ideas, reactions and thoughts about this. We have set up a new place for sharing about joy. This is a special place called joy of radiant recovery. This online group is open to anyone in the community. It doesn't matter what step you are on. I hope you will come share what joys you are discovering. This class will begin Wednesday, March 28, 2012. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:
This class will begin Wednesday,April 4, 2012. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:
The class schedule is online. Click here to see what is planned. A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum. Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly. Warmly, Kathleen **********************************************************************
** Quote From Kathleen ** If you start a *joy dot* practice, you will be startled to what it does to you. **********************************************************************
** Testimonial of the Week ** A year ago in March things were pretty bad in my marriage. I had been working the DA program and getting clarity on money stuff for almost a year. Rex was not working DA, but was working with me on the money. The previous December/January we really got a clear picture on where we were financially. Rex went into a deep depression and I went into fear. I called Rex's son for support for Rex and Rex ended up going to the doctor and going on antidepressants. I continued to work my DA program to the best of my ability. My mother had also just been taken in to the hospice program and my little dog was quickly deteriorating at the same time. It was a hard time. I was very angry and fearful. I was angry because I felt so alone and abandoned by Rex I was scared because I had no idea what we were going to do and I had no one to take care of me. I moved into the guest room. It became my sanctuary. I continued to do the DA work and called my sponsor a lot. I did phone meetings every day. At the encouragement of my DA sponsor I also attended Alanon phone meetings. I did the food to the best of my ability. I listened to the Safe Place CD every single night without fail. It helped me to sleep and quieted the fears. I talked on the lists. A day at a time things changed. Our life today is almost unrecognizable from a year ago. Rex feels much better and finally seems to be on the right amount of medication. We are working together on our finances. All of the finger pointing is gone, we are a team. I moved out of the guest room last September and feel safe. I still do not know what will happen financially. That part is not steady yet, but it is changing. I have a part-time job that I love and fills me with joy and helps a little with the financial piece. I am still working pretty hard. Money recovery is pretty big for me, it is turning out to be a really core part of who I am and how I am in the world. I still listen to Safe Place every night as I go to sleep. It makes me happy. Yesterday Rex came home after his eye exam and told me he needed new glasses. I asked him if he ordered them and he said "No, I wanted to talk to you first about when the best time would be financially to do that." Oh my goodness, I could hardly believe it, such a huge thing between us. We are a little tight this month because we are paying for my knee surgery and usually it is me being frugal and cautious, but this time again, it was a team effort. There are more and more of those. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life, both emotionally and physically. I am pretty surprised how my money pod affected so much of my life and how clean it feels to have such clarity and strength. I am so grateful and I just wanted to share about it because this list is a big part of my money recovery. Lulu **********************************************************************
** Radiant Ambassadors ** 
Have you ever wondered how best to talk about Radiant Recovery? We had a member of the community join us for that very reason as she was doing a presentation.
As a result, we now have two sets of notes in the Ambassadors Files section about how best to discuss sugar sensitivity. And it all starts
with the Chocolate Chip Cookie Test....
If you want to come on over and find out more feel free to drop by for a cup of tea.Selena selenas@blueyonder.co.uk Come join us if you are excited about spreading the news. **********************************************************************
** How I Found Radiant Recovery ** "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." I was ready: On New Year's Eve, 2005, I wrote as a goal: "Do Whatever it Takes to get over Sweets Addiction/Naturopath, Nutritionist, etc." A few weeks into 2006, I realized I was still eating loads of sugar, and I was disgusted with myself and how I felt. I knew that the way I ate sugar was simply not normal, even though my body weight is. So, I went to the public library, to the health section, and found "The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program." After checking it out and reading it cover to cover, I went and got my own copy. And here I am! Jane (Trail Runner) **********************************************************************
** Radiant Recovery® Store ** David manages the Radiant Recovery® Store. He is also Kathleen's oldest son.
Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better. **********************************************************************
** Radiant Kitchen ** There’s a fruit cobbler recipe I have made for years that I made sugar-free tonight for the first time. It’s great! I used apples and strawberries, but you can use anything, really. If you’re using something like canned peaches (in natural fruit juice of course), you can use it as is. Tonight I sautéed apple slices in a bit of butter and cinnamon and nutmeg until they were a bit soft. Then added a handful of strawberries, sliced. Put fruit in the bottom of a glass pie dish. In a bowl, cream 1/2 cup butter and about 2/3 cup apple butter. Add 1 egg, 1 cup flour (can use whole wheat or whole-wheat pastry), 1 tsp. baking powder and mix well. Glop this on top of the fruit in several places and spread to cover. Bake at 350 degrees fahrenheit for about a half an hour. Delicious with whipped cream. This recipe was contributed by Sue Ann from the Radiant Recovery Community Forum. For more great program-friendly recipes, check out our cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site. **********************************************************************
** Radiant YLD ** This amazing thing is happening as we are reading the book together. We are savoring it. The words get deeper as we talk about them. Without really planning it, it feels as if losing weight has become a *joy dot* for us. Who would have ever thought that could happen? Chat is such a joy. remember you don't have to be on step 7 to join YLD. If weight loss is something important to you, this is a fabulous support. If you would like to join, come find us here **********************************************************************
** Radiant Conversations ** We have a new portal for the Conversations program. Come check it out here. The really, really fun part is that mostly we talk about the article from the newsletter. Sometimes not, mostly yes. But the most astounding thing is that whatever the conversation starts as, it shifts into what people most need to hear. It is like having cozy tea together, or like sitting by the sea chatting about things that fill us up. We don't talk about the food, we talk about hopes and dreams. If you would like to join us, you can do that below. Join YLD Weight Loss Now: click here - $99 Join Conversations 2011 Now: click here - $99 Join Both YLD and Conversations Now: click here - $149 Current YLD members wish to Upgrade to Both, click here - $49 Current YLD members who wish to Transfer to Conversations 2011 Only can do so for a $14.99 admin fee: click here If you are not a member, come and join us if you want to be a part of the latest and greatest or just have some plain ol' fun! **********************************************************************
** Our Online Groups ** Step Seven. We have been sorting out what step seven might be. We are doing this through dialogue. We had someone who had been on step seven and had gone off the rails. We were trying to sort out with her how we might work through the process of coming home. Hi Steph, Ok, you posted about doing a 30/30...but you really didn't provide any context for that. So I just went back and read all the postings...I think this is the reference post, yes? Yes, there are folk who go completely off plan, I know that they exist, but only know of one who has come out and said it at the time. I didn't post about it publicly as I felt great shame, which then probably contributed to me down the addiction path even further.When I was reading this, it sounded as if it was in the past tense. (smile) Then, there's the isolating part. If I do this in secret, I can get back to where I was and no-one will ever know. This is the part I feel very uncomfortable about, and I do see that as being dishonest, if not to you all, then to myself. But that's probably why I bared all on Brits, my 'home group.And here it sounds as if it is in the present tense. (smile) So I think you are in trouble and the 30/30 reference was really whether you could or should do your *remedial* work here? Is that what you were asking? With hindsight, maybe the best thing I could have done for myself was post on here and be surrounded by step 7 advice.Ok, this is a GREAT question because I think it precisely highlights the issue I have been trying to sort out. I think we are all in agreement now about what we might move this list towards. I think the remaining question is essentially how do we handle a person who was on step 7 and got derailed. And actually it does happen more than you may realize...and yah, the shame gets in the way. Anyway, let me tell you how we handle this on mentors. If someone gets in trouble, they stop *working* so they are not acting as if everything is all right. They tell people on their home group. And then they get individual support from someone they really trust. Kinda like a private coach. What if we did that here? You stay on the list here, but you tell people you are in trouble. You ask for help. And maybe ask for a coach from the list who will listen to you directly and put together a *rehab* plan. I can post some samples of what people are doing...like posting daily, working on the step where they lost it, and of course working on journaling, LOL. I am thinking aloud, so I may say contradictory things, LOL, Ok, so then, as they are getting back on track, they start posting to their home list about what happened and what they are doing, and how it is going. Once step 3 is back solid, usually the shame stuff quiets and then the reporting is funny, and sometimes even fun. I think the question is what level of the rehab sharing should happen here on the list...and how do we work on the shame part. Here is my opinion at this point in time. I would like the step 7 list to be a shame-free list. Or a hiding or lying list. (I mean that tenderly). Isolating, hiding and lying is not step 7. Problem solving is. So it is not the falling that is a problem for step 7, but the response to it. For example....I could feel in your note, Steph, that angst that comes with biochemical imbalance. Words like *lead balloon,* LOL, are a clue...to *they don't love me, I am bad, I need to slink away* LOL. So let's do a step 7 reframe...(smile) No, wait, here is an idea...think program and food...two things... Your program can be great even if your food is wonky. (smile) A step 7 program says, *Eek, my food is off the rails. I am in deep do-do here. Hey guys, can you help me sort this out? Let me share with you what is going on, and perhaps you can suggest how I best proceed.* Then we would collaborate...and get a plan. And the plan might be to LISTEN until you are not defensive, LOL..and do work on your step 3. Or it might be to report daily. I have learned something too... My default on this list is that people are ok unless they say something. But not saying anything...or being MUSHY...is a clue. So what if we agree that if you are on this list, you participate....and you honor this idea that default means working step 7 improvements and that if you get in trouble you commit to saying that (which is the step 7 ticket). One other thing..on step 7, I tend to expect people to be healing each other, rather than Kathleen doing it. It is a significant shift. Whew, this would be called groping into an answer. What do you think of this? Does this make sense? Kathleen **********************************************************************
**The Mystery of Joy Dots ** Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.
I know that many of you have heard the term *joy dots* being talked about in the community. You may have seen people posting their *joys* and thought it was a pleasant exercise, but you really had no context. I thought it would be fun if we talked some about the idea. THis will let you share in the excitement they bring us. So here is the back story. Our depression list was the very first list we ever started in the community. For many years, it was a pretty grim place. People came in and shared about being depressed. It kinda went round and round and round. As people did the food, they usually left the list and joined the community in other places. A few years ago I was having a conversation with one of the women on the list about her being stuck. She was upset by the fact that she had been doing step 3 for years and could not get past it. She was pretty negative and grim. One day I challenged her to just write three things that she noticed during the day that gave her joy. I think this idea came out of the class I was teaching about the amygdala - the center of the brain that processes primal emotions like fear, anger and joy. At any rate, she agreed to do it. Later she admitted to me that she thought it was a really stupid idea and she only agreed to prove me wrong. She just started tacking three sentences on the bottom of her posts. *I noticed the flowers blooming in the garden* *I liked how the light was shining on the trees.* *There were dew drops on the spider web.* *My shake was yummy this morning.* They were simple declaratives and caught a joy moment. We called them *joy dots.* They were interesting, pleasant and no one really noticed them. Some time passed and one day I said, *Can you move those joy dots up to the top of your posts?* She did. And something very strange happened. Her tone changed. She was no longer grim. And she started looking at things in a different way. And then something even stranger happened. Other people on the list started doing the same thing. Joy dots first. And the list woke up. The energy shifted. Grim faded. The list started laughing. The members started connecting to each other. Now we call the depression list, the joy list. If you think it is silly, just try it. See what happens. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them. Not a subscriber yet? Like what you have read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you: http://www.radiantrecovery.com Until next time!
Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:
Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together. David runs the Radiant Recovery® Store. Selena provides the weekly Ambassadors column. ©2012 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter |
I think you will love the new, revised Safe Place CD. It has a special introduction, and is licensed to use the Kolbialka Bolero we all love so much. It is timed for 20 minutes so is ideal for your mediation time.
