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** Quote From Kathleen ** When your food is steady, your life is steady. When your food is wobby, your life is wobbly. **********************************************************************
** Testimonial of the Week ** I have been thinking about budgeting, and the difference that my outlook can make between having insufficient, enough, or a comfortable abundance. On the surface, budgeting can seem like having to do more with less, an impostion by a heartless world, a deprived state, sad, difficult, less than (some of these remind me of the symptoms of low BE). So often when we think of budgeting, the picture is one of enforced belt-tightening and deprivation. But in a similar way to the way that doing the food is not about avoiding sugar, but really about finding and eating what makes our bodies feel their very best, budgeting is not about what we don't spend, but how we spend what we have. Sometimes I have settled for significantly less than what I would have really done best with because 'I can't afford,' (or think I can't afford) good things. There is a permanently 'less than' outlook that seems to come with unhealed sugar sensitivity. That 'poverty mentality' which sees myself as permanently less well off, always looking for marked-down, damaged goods, and as not worth having things that work well, is not a very healthy outlook. As I have healed, this outlook has changed a lot. Now I glance at the marked- down goods, and if there is something I can use which really is a good buy, I will take advantage of the opportunity. But it has to be a good buy. Not something that is damaged in ways that matter. Not something which would reinforce the 'less than' thinking. I am learning and acting as if I am worth it, and slowly my beleif is matching my action. I am leaving behind the 'burnt chop syndrome.' I am believing that I am worth better, worth nice things that work and are nutritious and taste good and ...well you get the idea. My son and his fiance have recently become parents for the first time. They are feeling the pinch financially, and they have asked me lots of 'how do you make ends meet, Mum?' type questions. So I have been thinking afresh about budgeting. I have come to see budgeting as creative. It is a great joy to be able to find ways to meet a challenge, buying only what we need, minimizing our energy footprint, minimizing waste, making the best uses of what resources we have (time, effort, tools, ingredients, information... ) I love the feeling of truimph overcoming the obstacles. My weekly shopping is fondly referred to as 'hunting and gathering.' Kath **********************************************************************
** Radiant Ambassadors ** Both Kath and Kathleen have been discussing ideas for an article which may appear in Kath’s constituency newsletter in Australia. Kathleen’s version is printed below: “So are you starting to waver on all those New Year’s resolutions you made to change how you eat and exercise? It may be your sugar-sensitive brain and not your will power. You may be wired to be drawn to sweets in a way that hooks you and just trying to say *no* may not work for you. You may feel it is your character and once again you are having a hard time. There is an answer. And just doing a diet won’t help. If you work on changing what and how you are eating one small step at a time, you can literally rewire your brain and stop those cravings. Start with a real breakfast. Have some protein and wholemeal carbs every day as soon as you get up. Then add a good lunch and dinner. Move your sweets to your meals. Switch from white things to brown things by changing to wholemeal carbohydrate sources. After you have done all that, work on taking out the sweets. Remember, sugar is actually a drug. It works in your brain like heroin or morphine does. You think it is about comfort, but really it is about a physical attachment. Trying to *just say no* won’t really work. But if you heal your brain first and then work on stopping it, you up your chance of success. This new information has been helping thousands and thousands of people find a new way to have a REAL New Year.” Willeke is going to be putting a translated version of the article on her Hyves page (the Dutch MySpace site). Where might you put the article? MySpace? Facebook? Noticeboard at work? I’m incredibly excited and proud of the work we are doing right now. If you want to join in the fun then come on over! Selena Come join us if you are excited about spreading the news. **********************************************************************
** Radiant Kitchen ** Here's what I've been playing with... For the yam cakes... Cook up your sweet potatoes (yams are so much easier to say, but we don't get true yams), and mush them up. Add some oil (I use coconut oil), and about the same amount of rolled oats as you have of yams. I'll use a cup of yams as an example. So you take your cup of yams, cup of oats, blurp of oil, and about 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ginger, shredded coconut, and mix them all together. You want it to hold together, and be nice and sticky, so add water if you need to. I then use a scoop, and make little mounds, but flatten them with a fork. Bake at 400* for about 15 to 20 minutes. I freeze these, and take them out as needed...they are yummy cold and yummy hot, and they don't crumble, and don't get mushy, and travel well! Using peanut butter instead of the oil is yummy. And I bet you could experiment and use different spices...for variety. Enjoy! Colette
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** Your Last Diet - More Than What You Think ** We are enjoying the introductory class. It is wonderful to hear all of you being so excited and so diligent about your readiness for weight loss. Thank you so much! If you are not a YLD member, come and join us. Click here if you are ready to change your life or just have some plain ol' fun! **********************************************************************
** Radiant Recovery® Store ** David manages the Radiant Recovery® Store. He is also Kathleen's oldest son.  I want to make sure that everyone noticed that we have reduced the price of George's® Original. We have been working on the best way to work with you on the increases we have been absorbing. And as most of you who are subscribers know, we are working on some very creative alternatives that will get the price down even more. If you haven't tried shake, now is the time! Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better. **********************************************************************
** Our Online Groups ** A lot of new people have come over to radiantparents and are talking about how to do new behaviors with their kids. We are talking not just about food, but about new patterns of recovery in your family. If you are looking for great support for toddlers to teens, come join us. The problem-solving is such a comfort and I love seeing the more experienced parents give so much help to new people. **********************************************************************
** Emily and the Girls ** Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.
I asked Emily if I could share this exchange we had on the parents' list. I think it captures the essence of what happens as we *do the food*. Emily came to the program just like all of you. Life wasn't working, the kids were unsettled. She was overwhelmed and felt that the meltdowns and stresses were her fault. She just did the food. She listened, she listened for a really long time. And then she shared, listened some more. And she started making changes. I had been hearing these glimpses and was really touched by her open heart and her willingness. She came to ranch last May. It was a big deal for her. We asked her to be the liaison for the parents' list. It was a stretch. And she keeps doing the food. And she does the food with her family. And then this morning, she did a ski report. It was just a joyful and happy report. I am not sure she heard how striking it was. But listen, you will hear. What a joy for all of us. And...this can be you...and your kids. Hi everyone, I just have to share about the amazing family day we had today and how we managed our food. The girls had the day off school, so my husband took off work and we all went skiing. Last year we skied 3 times and I learned that we need a LOT of food and snacks or instant meltdown. So, we got up this morning and had eggs with cheese and oatmeal, and then we hit the road. We had fun chatting and listening to music on the 90-minute drive and then once we had all our gear rented, everyone had a shake and we hit the slopes. First time ever with no meltdowns, no tears, just fun and such progress. We had a gorgeous, sunny day and soon everyone was shedding layers. It was glorious. After a few runs, we were getting hungry, so we went back to the car where I had an array of food choices (I probably over packed, but I figured I'd rather have too much food than too little). Meatballs, cheese sticks, baby bels, hard boiled eggs, and peanut butter bars for protein options. Blueberry muffins, crackers, dry cereal, yam cakes, and oatmeal pancakes for brown options. Apples, some sliced bell peppers, and water bottles rounded everything out. I'd wanted carrots, but we were out. The girls put the seats down and had a picnic in the back and DH and I enjoyed chatting together. Then it was back to the slopes, and with everyone fueled up, the girls decided to try some harder runs and they sailed through it. I was amazed and it was so much fun to just ski and chat on the lifts and not have any drama. As we hit mid-afternoon, it started to cool down so we stopped to get some layers and for a snack and then we were back at it. Laura seemed to know her limits and told me on the chair lift that this was her last run. When we met up with DH and Alex, they agreed, although I think Alex was having so much fun she'd have kept going. Now that she's not having panic attacks on the mountain, she's having a blast! So, we finished up, turned in our skis and got comfy in the car with more snacks, and I'd packed a thermos of hot water and tea bags so that we could all have tea on the way home - wintermint for Laura, apple cinnamon for Alex, and peppermint for me. Ahhh. We walked in the door to the smell of spaghetti sauce in the crock pot and big smiles of contentment all around. I hope you all had a lovely day too. Emily Can you write a little about how life used to be (smile). I think there are some people on the list that may not know what this story really means (smile). Kathleen Oh sure! I was so excited, I forgot that part. Well, for starters we wouldn't have ever even thought of going skiing before RR. All the preparations would have done me in and if we had gone, we'd have been dealing with tears, drama and meltdowns that would have sent me over the edge and led to yelling and more tears, drama and meltdowns. We just didn't do family days. It wasn't fun. So, thanks to years on program, last year we thought it would be fun to go skiing and get the girls going. We had a few learning experiences. I didn't pack enough food, I didn't have food for when we got home, I didn't give everyone the right foods. It was too much spontaneous, let's go skiing and not thinking through our needs. Alex had panic attacks every time we went up. So, while it might be fun to think we can grab our gear and go, that's just not a good plan for us. I did lots of things right, but there were also lots of little things that added up to make them challenging days, and so despite being step 7, despite having my kids on program, we still had some tears, drama, and meltdowns. Thanks to the program, they were minimal and handled differently, but it still wasn't the fantastic day that we had today. This time, I've been preparing for several weeks in little ways. We gave the girls some indoor ski lessons to help build confidence and skills in a more comfortable environment. Part of this is seeing my kids clearly. Alex likes control and she doesn't tolerate discomfort. So being up on a hill in the cold snow can make her feel out of control. In the past, I'd have thought she needed to just get over it. Now, I know that she needs gentle ways to help her feel in control. So, I went looking for something different. Another part of seeing my kids clearly is knowing when they are done. Right before lunch we were discussing another run, and while skiing down, Laura started to get teary and a bit upset. DH and I looked at each other and said "Lunch." LOL We both knew it was time to eat and not time to squeeze in more. I've been keeping our food steady, steady, steady. I found everyone a new fleece on sale for extra comfort. Alex and I have been doing deep breathing and a lot of little things to help her. I took Rescue Remedy and gave some to Alex before we went up the chair lift. Oh, and Alex and I have been talking about what helps her when she's having a panic attack and ways she thinks she can avoid them. I was doing deep breathing this morning and on the drive up reminded myself that she's only 10 and to be VERY patient. Thankfully, I didn't need to use my calm, because we didn't have any panic attacks. Well, actually, that's not completely true. At one point on the first run, we went down one way and Alex stopped and started to get a bit upset and I said, Alex take a deep breath and tell me what is wrong. She did and told me that she didn't want to go this way. It looked scary. I could see her starting to spin and I said, 'Alex look at me.' When I had her eyes, I said, 'We'll just hike up this little bit and go the other way.' OK. Great. And away we went. However, the really cool part is that by the end of the day, she ASKED to go that way and we did it repeatedly. It is really huge that we are starting to get this now - both of us. We're learning how to communicate those scary, panic moments and work through them. You know how we say life on program just gets better and better? This would be one of our main examples. I thought really carefully about food and packed a lot! I wanted options so that no matter the mood, everyone would be happy. I wanted enough so that no one was hungry and that we had food to cover the whole day and any unplanned events. I wanted good, solid food. Not just toss-in and make-do food. I knew shake wasn't enough for breakfast, but it would be a fabulous snack right before hitting the slopes. I wanted to walk in the door to comfort food and I literally dropped what was in my hands and got the water boiling for the spaghetti before going to help unload the car. Dinner in the crock pot was really the finishing touch. The other really amazing part is that I didn't martyr myself in the preparations. In the past, I'd have moaned and groaned about it all and been exhausted before we even got there. This time, I just had fun and played in the kitchen and thought of little things to make it all go well and stack up the positives. I did a little bit each day. I didn't get to everything I'd hoped to get done, but I knew when I had enough and when I needed to stop and rest. I also shared the plan with my husband which was a good thing because I was busy concentrating on packing food for the day and I completely forgot about the crock pot. He remembered, and grabbed the food that was all set in the crock in the fridge and got it going this morning. Instead of grumbling that no one ever helps me get us all ready, this morning I said, 'Could you make the girls eggs while I go get dressed?' Asking for help and sharing the work is a new thing for me. Whew, this is really long, but you see today is really about so many little pieces of the program all coming together. It goes way beyond just the food. Driving home, sipping my tea, I smiled to myself at what a very, very long way we've come. Emily Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:
Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together. David runs the Radiant Recovery® Store. Selena provides the weekly Ambassadors column. The banner photograph is by Patti Holden. ©2008 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter.htm. |
