Hi {!firstname_fix} This is my favorite week of the year. Thanksgiving and my birthday all together have always made it a fun time. Many years ago I learned to transform Thanksgiving into a program-friendly day of gratitude. I won't be with my family back east this year and David will go off to be with friends. I will cook and have fragrant smells all day, and yummy food for many days to come. In this week's article, I am doing one more round of thoughts on my sharing after the election. I have valued your input and your responses. Not all of it has been easy. I have wanted to take enough time to be able to really sort through all of what some of you raised. I hope you will take the article in the spirit of reconciliation with which it is offered. Also, I am going to send out a Thanksgiving supplement tomorrow (smile)...I wanted to say something about that, but did want to complete our other story first. Going through this process happened at the same time a number of you have talked about grief. I think this time of year can be very, very hard if we have lost people or places that are really important to us. I had planned to take this week off. I decided that making some space to hold grief would be a good thing to do at Thanksgiving time. So we have a new class offering. This class will begin Wednesday, November 26, 2008.Please click on the name of the class you wish to join and it will take you to the registration page: Healing Grief Class (2 weeks) is a special class on healing from grief in a radiant way. This class will support members of the Radiant Recovery community who have experienced loss of loved ones and would like to find solace and healing in a new way. These classes will begin Wednesday, December 3, 2008. Please click on the name of the class you wish to join and it will take you to the registration page: Radiant Store Tour (1 week) is a free guided tour of the store. David will be leading this class so if you want to get to know the guy that makes it all work, come sign up. And it is a great time to learn about what you can send your friends in far away places. Step 1: Radiant Step One Class (1 week) is our foundation class to get you started. Learn all four parts of step 1 in a structured way. Learn how to progress through them with enjoyment. Let us support getting your program off to a fabulous start. Brain Chemistry: Beta Endorphin (2 weeks) is one of our most popular classes. It will teach you the core of the science behind the program. This is the outline for a critical part of sugar sensitivity, why you act the way you do and what you can do to change it. I love this class and so do all the people who have taken it. Somehow BE rocks! Handling the Holidays: Christmas (1 week) is the way to transform stress into enjoyment. This is a wonderful how to reframe old stories. If you are on disability or low income (your household income is less that $1000 a month), you may take classes for free if you get certified. I have put the guidelines for certification on the class schedule page. The class schedule is on line. Click here to see what is planned. Please do not sign up for classes that are not yet scheduled. A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. The classes are done online and you do not have to be at your computer at any set time. It does not matter whether you are in the US, Europe, the Far East or Australia, you simply respond on your own time. And although I advertise that the classes are one or two weeks, sometimes we are a little flexible and they may run longer. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum. Please feel free to pass this week's newsletter on to your friends and family. Don't forget to let me know what you like and would like to see me cover. Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery¨ website and Community Forum regularly. Warmly, Kathleen **********************************************************************
November 24, 2008 ** Quote From Kathleen **
When you feel your worst and can't cope with anything, just go back to eating breakfast with protein every day. *********************************************************************
** Testimonial for the Week**
Hi Everyone, I would like to tell you all about the experience I had with my daughter (5) yesterday. I picked her up from Kindergarten along with my son (7). After we came home from school she was "cranky". I gave her a snack before doing homework then we settled in. During homework she was starting to getting frustrated. Scribbling all over her homework paper and ripping it. She has a very strong personality and when she doesn't want to do something, it becomes a battle of wills, usually. Not yesterday though. I just sat there and watched her "freak out", then I remembered a line Kathleen used, 'don't punish them...feed them.' So, I got her a heavier snack and within 10 mins the crying, screaming, anger and frustration disappeared and we were able to continue practicing her letters and could even sit down together and read a book. I just asked her when we were both calm...'do you feel better after you ate?' The answer was yes, I'm so proud of her. I am very proud of myself too b/c I stayed calm b/c my food has been good. We were able to ride out another storm just b/c of doing the food. (smile) Wendy in Philly ********************************************************************
**Radiant Ambassadors**
It looks as though word is starting to spread. :) The Radiant Recovery group on Facebook seems to be growing on a daily basis and we've had 5 new people join the Ambassadors list in the last ten days! I came across a site called Very Well Said and it is carrying some rather nice words about Potatoes not Prozac. In fact all of the 14 reviews that have been written gave the book a score of 5/5. Here is the link if you want to read more: http://verywellsaid.com/titles/p/potatoes-not-prozac-solutions-for-sugar-sensiti\ vity-141655615x.php?from=rss2 I'm sitting here with a very big grin right now - yes! If you would like to join in the fun, come on over to the Ambassadors list - we'd love to have you! Selena Come join us if you are excited about spreading the news. ********************************************************************
**Radiant Kitchen**
Apple Pie with Cheddar CrustIngredients: Crust:
Filling:
For crust:
For Filling:
To Assemble:
Yield: One 9" pie - 6 to 8 servings.
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**Your Last Diet: More Than What You Think**
YLDonline is a membership program run directly by Kathleen DesMaisons herself. We WILL be having chat on Wednesday, so if you want comfort or to share gratitude, come join us please. If you are not a YLD member, come and join us. Click here if you are ready to change your life or just plain ole have fun. ********************************************************* ***********
**Radiant Recovery Store **
David manages the Radiant Recovery Store. He is also Kathleen's oldest son. It is starting to get cold and windy. Let's think about good things for general health. Fish oil and pycnogenol, yes!!! And we got another huge truck load of Restore, so get your orders in. Don't forget, if you are traveling over the holidays, you don't have to carry it, I can send it to your destination. In fact, I can send a whole care package for you. Just let me know what you want. And you know, even if you want green chili pastacios, I will go get them for you, LOL Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better. ********************************************************* ***********
**Our Online Groups**
Ok, the men's list is rocking these days. What a great bunch of guys we have. Come and join us! We are doing some *coaching* and talking about the possibility of doing a monthly conference call. So, exciting things are happening. ********************************************************************
**One More Round**
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. As I noted last week, it has been my intention to come back to the article I wrote after the election. I received a lot of mail about it. I got over fifty emails. Of those, three people challenged what I had written. One woman from Slovenia very respectfully asked me to look more deeply at the language I had used. One person from our leadership engaged in a very deep dialogue with me. And today one person told me that I was acting in an addictive way and had betrayed her trust and spread more hurt and divisiveness. Because of the respect and caring of the early challenges, I knew that it was important for me to take another look. It is hard to be challenged on something you feel passionate about. And it is hard to see your own blind spots when they are yours. I decided it would be helpful to me to ask my son for his input. Most of you know David. My middle son, Ted, teaches high school and does a lot of work around reconciliation of differences. I asked him to comment on what I wrote in the newsletter. Ted helped me see some crucial issues. He said he thought there are 3 crucial points to look at. 1) It made sense to him that someone might leave chat. It was an intense time and if I was using “we” language that she felt did not include her, it was a reasonable response. And it sounded as if I was dissing her for leaving. 2) He pointed out that on several occasions, I used the term “we” when clearly my audience was not part of my “we.” He said, “This sounds as if you’re saying that if you didn’t vote for Obama that you reject hope and reconciliation—two of the primary messages of RR. Does that mean I’m not welcome in RR if I didn’t vote for Obama?” 3) And finally he asked me about the issue of power and boundaries, about the rules and what do they mean for both the community and me. Now, Ted and I have been debating, arguing and exploring since he was a wee lad. I knew he could help me see under the challenges and he did. He also said: I think your chat excerpt could have used a concluding comment or some wrap-up to put it in perspective. Or at least some more talking about the decision to break the no-politics rule? I think there’s something to the feeling of “Oh, our leader decided to break the rule!” and that putting an important safety boundary into play. It’s a bit unsettling. And this is a question that I have had to struggle with in my classes. Do I let the kids know my political or religious opinions as an authentic presentation of who I am and then work hard to make sure everyone’s voice gets included? Or does my position of authority automatically mean that those who disagree will feel (and be) silenced—and that I should keep my opinions to myself? I don’t know the answers to those questions, much less the right answers. So, Ted’s comments gave me a lot to think about. Because I trust him and I did not feel attacked, I was able to hear on a different level. I need to come back with an apology for my language in using “we” when it was clearly inappropriate. My feelings were charged, and I think perhaps that the struggle of “we vs. them” is so deep in our culture that I could not even see it in my own language. And there was this bigger dilemma. I have set a rule of no politics on the list. And some of you felt betrayed by my even opening the topic. You felt as if I had misused my power as the rule maker and changed things to suit me. And this violated your sense of safety that the community was a politics-free zone. And given the fact that we had not talked about this, that was a reasonable reaction. I would like to apologize for causing you distress. I am going to share what my experience was, why I made the decision I did. My experience of the election process was one of deep emotion. On Monday, I had watched CNN news clips of a number of rallies held by Palin. I saw people yelling that Obama should be assassinated. And I saw a man with a stuffed monkey with an Obama label laughing derisively about sending him back where he belonged. I heard the CNN reporter ask Palin what she thought about these things happening and she said she thought it was good. The images of anger, hate and profound racism disturbed me on a molecular level. I expected dirty politics; but was unprepared for that level of venom. I think the racism really rattled me. I did not expect Obama to win the way he did. I expected another long, drawn out very close, very disputed and bitter battle. What happened at 9 PM felt like a moment in time that was so important that it needed to be acknowledged. It was also a moment that deeply moved me. Whenever in the past we have had these times, like the time of the Tsunami, I have always spoken. And I will be totally honest with you. At the time, I was not experiencing what I said as “political” and therefore breaking my “rule.” I felt as if I was speaking to a monumental shift that happened. And I was wrong. Of course the event was political, and yes, I did not honor what I had set up as a boundary. And yes, I can certainly understand that if the person in charge simply decides she gets to break the rule when she wants to, then the whole point is in question. And in speaking of it, of course I was speaking from my own filter. And the use of “we” was totally inappropriate. Had I shared the experience of my own self and had I talked about why I was making a choice to break a rule…I think perhaps it would have been less difficult for some of you. In this process, I have come to understand that the “rule” of no politics, sex or religion is really more about preserving a safe space for talking about other topics. And recognizing that these are difficult issues to talk about gracefully. Upon further reflection, I realize that in the ideal, we can wade through even the difficult topics. But we have to learn how to do so. Have we built enough of a container to handle the complexity and heat and woundedness of these other topics? Can we find a way to cross differences of opinion, life style, politics and spirituality because of our common commitment to healing? Can we hold very different points of view, and we live in respect and we listen with a sincere heart. It means that if I am a democrat, you will not put on me all the feelings of anger and rage you may have about what that means, and if you are a republican, I will not put on you the feelings I have about one man on TV who laughed at a monkey doll dressed as Obama. I do not know if we as a community are ready to go beyond “rules” and trust that respect will hold us and keep us from attack. I do know that where we are in the program has a huge impact on our capacity not to be defensive and to hang in there. When we grappled with this in our leadership, it was hard, heated and very respectful. In the end, I can simply say that I bring my own humanness to our process. I am genuinely sorry that my behavior caused pain and anger for some of you. I am grateful for those of you who could speak your truth with respect and caring. I am grateful for a son who can be honest and loving and help me see what I cannot on my own. I am sure you know what this community means to me. And I am sure you know what my values are. What I will bring to you is simply who I am. If I am challenged, I will do my best to listen. If I cannot listen, I will take some time and I will turn to those who can help me be open. And we will talk about recovery and discover what it means. ©Kathleen DesMaisons 2008. Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together: Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together David, who runs the Radiant Recovery¨ Store talks about what new products we have. You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery¨ in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter.htm. ©2008 by Kathleen DesMaisons . All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered and use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery¨. Please visit Kathleen's website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction." Please notify me at kathleen@radiantrecovery.com to let me know where the material will appear. Banner Photograph by Geraint Smith |