Hi {!firstname_fix}

Ok, it's now well into spring! Light is streaming now. This week I will be talking about commitment and willingness. It may nudge you a bit, LOL.

Please feel free to pass this week's newsletter on to your friends and family. Don't forget to let me know what you like and would like to see.

A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www.radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, use the link at the bottom of the page. Do not email me, do not get mad at me, just click on the linkand you will be forever removed.

And be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.

Warmly,
Kathleen

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May 3, 2004
** Quote From Kathleen **


If you simply nod and say, "yes, that is so true," but never DO, the program will never work for you. It demands your willingness to commit and act.

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** Testimonial for the Week**

Hi, Boy! Can I ever relate to what you are experiencing now! You are asking all the questions I asked. I too wanted to find the magic formula and just repeat it everyday. Love the Einstein and underwear analogy they had me laughing hysterically. You asked:

1. Would you be willing to share some of your menus with me? I'm having a hard time figuring out exactly what to eat, since I'm on a restricted sodium, potassium, and protein diet. Are you on similar restrictions?

I would be happy to share my menus with you but I don't think it would be helpful to you right now. Why? When I first came to this program nearly 2 years ago I was on a series of restrictive diets including but not limited to very low protein for my kidneys followed by a high protein diet recommend by my Hepatologist, then a low carb diet when another MD decided that I needed to have a gastric bypass as soon as I was well enough to tolerate the surgery, then had my fluids restricted to 1200 ML/day followed by being told to drink nearly 24 glasses of fluid/day. I was told to eat 6 meals a day, do low fat, then include fat, do low carb, eat more complex carbs,eat lots of cruciferious veggies, lots of soy then told by my Endocrinologist to limit these foods. I was confused and overwhelmed and afraid to even eat which lead to drastically restricting food followed by bingeing and on the cycle continued.

What did I do that finally broke the cycle? I did exactly what you are doing. I came to Kathleen and this Community and told my story and asked for help. I told them I thought I was "terminally unique," due to my health problems and could not do the program. They listened and told me they would work with me and my health team to modify the program, They told me to keep it simple and start with breakfast on time within whatever dietary restrictions I had. They encouraged me to search for a supportive health care team and listened to me whine and cry during the 6 months it took me to finally get that team together. Every time I had another hurdle, got overwhelmed and wanted to just resign myself to a life of emotional and physical misery they gently lead me back to DOING THE PROGRAM AND STAYING CONNECTED.

Over the course of two years I have baby stepped my way to Step 4. I have gone from being paralyzed in a coma to bedridden to a combo of wheelchair/walker, from grossly obese (480++ pounds) to just plain obese, from an alcoholic to someone who literally never craves alcohol (can't say that about sugar and whites yet).. ..From being in constant, debilitating muscle and joint pain 24/7 to having tolerable pain that does not require medication or interfere with ADL's....From spending 95% if my time in bed with barely enough energy to sit up or take care of my basic physical needs to going to physical therapy 4 times a week, and gradually resuming a normal life. From a woman who lived in fear and trembling of the her medical providers and had no hope of ever being healthy to a woman who now leads a great health care team that support her recovery. From a woman who felt hopeless, helpless and darkly depressed to a woman who has a positive outlook on life and anticipates a future filled with joy, peace and Radiance. The miracle began when I made the decision to surrender and commit to doing the food. Now at the advanced age of 54, having died twice, I look forward to a second life of unbelievable richness and creativity. I have had a lot of challenges on my path and many wobbles but my body, my molecules now have enough experience with success and feeling good that I recuperate fast and my wobbles do not become slips. I'll share with you what has best supported and advanced my recovery so far.

1. COMMITTING to the program and making it the foundation of my recovery.

2. LISTENING to the words of the wiseones and following their advice even when I was absolutely, positively certain that I was the one person whose condition was so complex and hopeless that RR could not possibly work for me (how wrong I was on that one).

3. Keeping CONNECTED With the Community and letting them know my challenges and struggles (that was a very difficult challenge for me).

4.CONSULTING WITH KATHLEEN(Worth scrimping and saving for as it completely changed the way I saw my recovery.)

5. With the help and support of the Community finding a HEALTH CARE TEAM ( including a nutritionist) that would support me in RR(talk about frustrating but well worth the pain and tears).

AND DOING THE PROGRAM ONE, SOMETIMES EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW, BABY STEP AT A TIME.

You are doing a great job connecting with the Community. I look forward to being on this path with you. Melodie

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** Your Last Diet: More Than What You Think**

Oh my, is YLD getting fun. New people, streaming energy, new stuff learned. We sure are excited about what is happening.

Come join us and hear about this success!

http://www.radiantrecovery.com/YLD_signup.htm


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** Radiant Recovery Seminars **

Ranch in Albuquerque is almost upon us. Stay posted to hear about the fun we have.



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** David's Corner **

Well, we had such a great response to the CDs of the "Southwest Coffeehouse" last week, I am going to continue to highlight them this week as well. You HAVE TO get this product. it is just awesome!! I have one in my car and it is like listening to All Things Considered on NPR!

Please send questions and suggestions for items you might like to see in our store. YOU are building our store. Tell me what you want and we will sort it out.

Thanks
David

And of course, we have something for everybody in our store


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** Featured Topic**
I Have Been Trying Step 2 for Two Years
by Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

Last week, we had a number of conversations in the community about how long the steps should take. People were sharing about not being able to move beyond journaling. As usual, there was a lot of encouragement and support. As a group, we are kind. We care about one another; we listen and hold one another up.

But, today, I am going to add another perspective. I am going to challenge you. If you want to be healed, you need to take action. Nodding at the idea but not acting will never heal you. Addiction has you by the throat. It has its icy hands around your heart. It is stealing your life.

Support will help. But sometimes kindness helps to keep you stuck. Sometimes a greater kindness will say, “If you want what we have, do what we do.” Feeling miserable about your life and doing nothing means that things will not change.

Sugar sensitives have a hard time committing. Usually we wait until it is really, really bad to take action. This is natural. Our unbalanced biochemistry tilts us in the direction of spinning and being stuck. Sugar makes us immobile. Sugar saps our spark and dilutes our motivation. It deflects intention. And if we just “wait” for it to get better, we will wait a lifetime.

At some point, healing requires commitment. It demands saying, “I will do what it takes to get well.” It means that our intention overrides the sugar effect. It means that we actually “do” the journal. Even though it is hard and requires paying attention. We stop flapping and we start focusing. We stop saying, “You know, I have ADD, this is too hard for me” and we say, “What do I need in order for this to work.”

When you make this commitment, you come to the lists, to the forum with a different frame of reference. What is there to learn? Who can guide you? This community has the most extraordinary people in it. People who are skilled and competent with the program. People who have been where you are and are not there now.

Ask for help. Rather than staying stuck, commit. If you do not know what to do, say so. And then LISTEN. Here is an example…

Someone comes to me and says, “Kathleen, my life is overwhelming, my sugar is out of control, I cannot find my way, I am in pain, I don’t know what to do. Will you help?”

I say, “Eat breakfast.”

“Oh, I do that already. I was been doing Atkins for 5 years. I just can’t get the journal down.”

“Do you eat within a hour of getting up?”

“Well, most days. Well, some days. But I am really busy. I have 4 kids and it is a rush to get everyone off to school.”

“Are you getting enough protein?”

“Well, of course. I have 2 eggs every morning.”

So I wait. I figure this is a person who is not ready. She goes on the forum and starts talking about the kids and the stress and her life and not being able to journal. She gets suggestions about the journal and for every one there is a reason why that can’t work for her.

I have been called “harsh” because I am demanding. I have been called insensitive because I do not get caught in the swirl of the kids and time and the job and the “stuff.” I have been told I do not understand how hard it is. I have been accused of being curt because I don’t get into a long discussion about how hard it is.

How hard it is does not matter. Of course it is hard. If it were easy, we would have all healed many years ago. Sugar addiction is nasty. It takes commitment and courage. It takes willingness. But you do not have to do it alone, or by white knuckling it. Ask for help and then listen. Follow instructions. Do the steps. One at a time. In order. With enough time for your body to integrate the pattern. Accept that there is a reason, a very powerful one, that they are in the order they are. Consider that someone might know something more than you do about how to heal this nasty stuff. Be outrageous and consider that the people who have gone before you really, truly do have something to offer you.

Ask for guidance rather than hugs. And then commit. Whatever it takes. And watch the miracle unfold. Your body will change. Your spirit will change. Your life will change. Beyond anything you could ever have imagined.

But it won’t happen if you stay stuck for 2 years.

©Kathleen DesMaisons 2004.