Hi {!firstname_fix}

Nice to touch base with all of you. This week I am starting to talk about the issue of abuse and sugar sensitivity. It is not an easy topic, but I think it is useful to bring some of our dark stuff into the light and talk about it.

Please feel free to pass this week's newsletter on to your friends and family. Don't forget to let me know what you like and would like to see.

A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www.radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, use the link at the bottom of the page. Do not email me, do not get mad at me, just click on the linkand you will be forever removed.

And be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.

Warmly,
Kathleen

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April 19, 2004
** Quote From Kathleen **


I never imagined that doing the food could affect so many things. I was looking for balance and I found profound healing.

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** Testimonial for the Week**

Hi! Bless your heart! Sugar-sensitivity brings it's own terrible depression and hopelessness, doesn't it? It's insidious, there doesn't seem to be a way out. Everywhere I would turn I'd just bump into a dark, dank, slimy dungeon wall. I'd start to walk towards a light and it would wind up to be illusion, and then the darkness would move in and swallow me whole again.

And the dungeon I was living in was the greatest illusion of all -- I did the steps, not perfectly, not easily, but I did them and gradually the dungeon began to fade, and I was where I'd always been, in a peaceful land of beauty and grace. But I'll never forget the dungeon, I know that's where you are, so let me just talk to you through the walls, okay?

I used to eat many candy bars at one sitting, and I could NOT believe the people around me who couldn't believe I wasn't getting sick to my stomach. And yet it certainly was poisoning me, but you know, when you have no off-switch and no idea that *that's* the culprit, what in heck are you to do?

You're already ahead in two areas, you know that sugar is the problem, and you've already started with breakfast. Hear me now, THIS IS HUGE. Think of all the people in the world (I posted yesterday that Coca-Cola reports that nearly every consumer in the US has at least one serving of a Coke product every day -- how many of those are sugar-sensitive?) who are miserable beyond mere words and who have no link that it's because of what they're eating? You've made that connection, you've wound up in the hospital for sugar-sensitives. Now you've just got to work the prescription. And that is do-able.

It can and will get better if you do the food. You *develop* that off-switch via the food. You will get control over your life, I promise. It all starts with breakfast. And you've started that, so that's cool! Just work on the carb part, make sure it's enough protein and within one hour of waking up. The rest of the steps? Don't worry about them. That's written into the prescription.

This is hard, it looks easy, doesn't it? Hang on to the hope that things will change. And it WILL!!!!!! We've been where you are, and there are many of us who know that if you take life one day at a time, and just work the steps, you will feel changes, wonderful changes.

And you will own your own life again, and not be at the mercy of sugar. I've said this before, but I'm now living Part II of my life. Finding these steps and doing them was the demarcation line between Part I and Part II, the change I feel has been that profound.

So you go, you can do this. We know you can. We're all behind you 100%. You're taking those first steps, my friend, and like mine I'm feeling yours feel scary and shaky and full of doubt. But honey, lemme tell ya, you will be surprised and delighted by the things that await you.

And it's all through food. I'm still surprised by that, after all this time.

Hang in there.

My best,
SkyRunner

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** Your Last Diet: More Than What You Think**

We have been discussing some pretty exciting topics in the chats. It is funny, the chat has become the highlight of my week. I LOVE sharing new things and finding ways to problem solve bumps. It is pretty awesome to have a program become a *living* skill. The chats make this possible.

Come join us and hear about this success!

http://www.radiantrecovery.com/YLD_signup.htm


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** Radiant Recovery Seminars **

Ranch in Albuquerque is just a month away. Radiant Ranch is the highlight of the year. Most of the liaisons come and we all have a blast. Did you know that we are having a kids ranch this year as well? I have posted a schedule of the seminar if you want to see what we will be doing. I have had 3 cancellations if you want a spot.



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** David's Corner **



A number of you have told me you are traveling for spring break or for conferences. Kathleen always takes a mixer and some shake with her.


More and more of you are trying the wild rice. Make sure to get the little cookbook we now carry. Kathleen read 15-20 wild rice cookbooks and likes this one the best. The really nice thing is that our rice is harvested by hand by the people who lived with it for hundreds and hundreds of years. They are sharing their sacred food with us.

Please send questions and suggestions for items you might like to see in our store. YOU are building our store. Tell me what you want and we will sort it out.

Thanks
David

And of course, we have something for everybody in our store


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** Featured Topic**
Sugar Sensitivity and Abuse
by Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

Does a person you love . . .

Just ONE "YES" answer may mean that you are in an abusive relationship.

Many folks in our community struggle with being in abusive situations. Many others struggle with having a short fuse or violent temper. Usually we look at this topic in the context of the psychology of abuse. I think it is helpful to add the context of sugar sensitivity/alcoholism into the story. This week I want to talk about the side of being the victim of abuse. Next week I will talk about being the abuser.

If you are sugar sensitive, chances are you have low beta-endorphin and low serotonin. Low serotonin means having a hard time saying no, a hard time setting boundaries. It leads to letting people take advantage of you, walk all over you or hurt you without your complaining.

Low beta-endorphin means you have a low tolerance for pain, both emotional and physical. You may feel inadequate, less than, not worth it, not loved, not valued because of your biochemistry. You feel like a victim. It seems to suit who you are. This can be true even if the outside reality seems as if you should be fine. So you can be attractive, have money, live in a beautiful home, have what appears to be a loving family and still feel unacceptable on the inside.

When you feel this way, you will be drawn to a person or situation that makes you feel accepted. On a molecular level, you will seek out a situation that gives you even a little sense of someone wanting you or someone taking care of you. Rationally, you feel drawn to the person who makes you feel okay. But let’s look at how tricky this can be.

When you get hurt, your body releases beta-endorphin. The beta-endorphin is a painkiller. Your body has it to protect you in the times of danger. If a tiger bites your leg and you need to run, beta-endorphin will override the pain and let you get away. It is a very practical neurochemical.

When you eat sugar, or drink alcohol, you get a rise in beta-endorphin as well. And for those of you who have low beta-endorphin, you learn very early on that you can find huge comfort in sweet and fat foods. You stop hurting when you have them. Your beta-endorphin levels rise and you feel confident, attractive, valued and accepted.

When you get hurt emotionally, the same thing happens. Someone yells at you, someone puts you down, and you go for the sugar. But, more is happening. Over time, you become attached to the comfort. And you become numb. You do not make the connection that the abuse, the situation causing the pain, is also having a chemical effect.

If you get hit, or verbally abused, your beta-endorphin level goes up. Your rational brain tells you this is not okay, but your neurochemical brain actually relies on the feeling of being able to manage. The part of you that says, 'I can just sit this out, I am strong,' comes from the rise in beta-endorphin. The beta-endorphin creates a biochemical hook for you. You feel better; you believe things will be ok. Until the beta-endorphin bath wears off. Then you feel hopeless, inadequate and unable to move. You get caught in this because you think these changing feelings are a function of just needing to get it together. You don’t understand why sometimes you feel so resolute and able to cope, and other times you are paralyzed. You cannot count on sustained feelings. And you think that you are the problem. Most likely your abuser tells you that as well. You often hear 'if YOU would just…..' And the sad thing is you actually think that is the truth. It fits with how you feel on the inside.

You go back, or you stay. You make do because you feel you are not worth more or because you feel you have no skills, no way to support yourself. You are ashamed that you cannot resolve this. You hide it and act as if things are all right. People tell you that you should get out, you should leave, but you don’t. What is that about?

A couple of things are going on here…

The first is that on some level you are 'hooked' on the dance of beta-endorphin. The fights, the abuse, while on the surface seem horrible, on another level are creating the biochemistry that allows you to function. If you go away and don’t have the 'hit' (literally and figuratively), you go into withdrawal. The old feelings of helplessness and inadequacy return. So you go back. You cannot see the dynamic. Your friends think you are nuts. You think they do not understand.

The biochemistry of sugar sensitivity sets you up to feel like a victim and to feel trapped. What and when you are eating feeds these feelings of hopelessness.

What is the way out?

You heal the biochemistry. Doing the food, doing the steps changes everything. You get clear. Your sense of self creeps up on you. From the inside out. You start feeling ok and whole and capable. You start seeing the reality of the situation. Your beta-endorphin levels go up. Your serotonin levels rise. You are able to say no to sugar and white things. And something strange starts to happen. You start saying no to abuse. You say, 'This won’t work for me.' You set boundaries. You are even and calm and clear.

After step 6, your beta-endorphin levels start to rise. You don’t need the 'hit'. Read that again. You don’t NEED it. You are not hooked on the hit any more. And you can take the steps to not be a victim. Your clarity and sense of self will be totally different. You will be able to ask for help and follow through with what you need to do.

Now, if you haven’t done the food yet, this idea is going to seem totally outrageous to you. How in the world can breakfast have an impact on your abusive boyfriend or boss or parent? You are going to think I am totally off the wall. But I am not. This is a BIOCHEMICAL issue. Doing the food alters the biochemistry that makes you feel you deserve being put down or hurt. It alters the dance.

I know that this is such a starling concept; we will need to be talking about it more. Come over to the forum. Let’s keep talking.

©Kathleen DesMaisons 2004.