1. Spending 20$ at the drugstore on needed items feels like a spree (I used to go to fancy stores and drop $200 that I didn't have and not feel satisfied).
2. Traits in other people that used to drive me batty now just seem like *them* and, even, *quirky*.
3. I don't agonize on how to say things, I just say them, truthfully and without a lot of emotional overlay (before I would be obsessed with not *hurting someone's feelings* or with *being nice*).
4. My office held two bake sales last week and I just handed the guys a few dollars with the comment, "I don't eat sugar but I'm happy to support your cause".
5. I dreamt that I had eaten a piece of coconut cake and woke up thinking, "Oh no, I've slipped...how could that have happened" (upon reflection, I kinda find this funny ;-) Kathleen is now living in my subconscious - joking).
6. I've been finding myself in friendly conversations with strangers and I don't feel stressed out - it's just a happy exchange and then it's over.
7. I don't obsess about getting married, finding a man, having kids (I'm 36) whereas these topics used to take up almost all my mental energy.
8. Time feels to have slowed down....each day feels so much longer and fuller.
9. I can work through practical or logistical issues (how to get somewhere on transit or how to fix something) instead of getting overwhelmed.
10. I don't have cravings....this is a big one. True confessions time - I used to read the posts where people mentioned that they didn't crave and I'd always cynically think "Yeah right...I know I shouldn't eat sugar but it doesn't mean I like it or ever will..." and I kind of thought people were lying...so I'm SHOCKED to find, I'm there.

STUFFED CABBAGE

• 1 large head of cabbage
• 1 1/2 lbs ground turkey
• 1/2 cup uncooked brown rice
• 1 T. oil
• 1 medium onion, minced
• 4 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 beaten egg
• 3 T. oil
• 2 T. whole wheat flour or brown rice flour
• 1 46 oz can tomato juice*
• 4 T. tomato paste*
• 1 cup apple juice
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 T. sea salt*
• 2 large turkey necks (optional - but worth using since it really flavors the sauce)

**David's Corner **

**Our Online Groups**

Hi I am Ann, the geo coach for the Radiant Big Apple group. We are a fun group of people from the New York and New Jersey area, who are following the steps to a radiant recovery. Sometimes we actually can coordinate our busy schedules and have a meeting at a local restaurant. At those meetings it is always fun to meet face to face and discuss food, recipes and our life. We would love to have you to join us. Living in New York or New Jersey is not a requirement

Or come to the group page to see all our groups. http://www.radiantrecovery.com/list_serves.htm

********************************************************************

**Our Values**
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

This has been a week with some upheaval. One of the members of the step 7 list decided to leave the community because one of the other members had posted about her *wife*. He felt that his moral values meant that he could not remain in a situation that allowed people to post about something he felt was wrong. To stay true to his values, he decided to walk away from the community and all that it has given him.

I responded to this decision on the list and stated that I was really saddened that his beliefs meant he had to leave something that had been so life giving. As you might guess, this interaction stirred some pretty intense conversation. The most intense discussion took place on our leadership list. Not all of you may know that the community is led by a group of 50 volunteers who are in recovery and are committed to providing service to others. We have a smaller group of very senior people who work with me to hash out complex stuff. This fell into the complex stuff area. Several years ago, we had another intense interaction with several people who are fundamental Christians and who felt very strongly that they should be allowed to quote scripture on the lists and to speak with people about how The Lord would lead them to recovery. I said no to this. They left. We then worked on what you now see as the *rules of the road* which include a reference to the fact that our religious beliefs are not part of how we support doing the food. This commitment has meant that we have created what I believe is a safe place for people from many different backgrounds. At the time, we did not discuss the issue of one’s sexual orientation. It never seemed to be something that was in any way connected to doing the food. I never really think about whether someone’s referred to partner is the same or a different sex. But in leaving, this member challenged me about *hypocricy* and suggested that I was closing the door to people of god and letting *them* speak of their ways. In part of our following discussion, one suggestion was that I should have dealt with it quietly and off the list and just said, *OK, if you feel that way, I understand why you would need to leave*. Intolerance by whatever name is not okay with me. And I honestly believe that the reason many people do not stand up for saying no is that it is uncomfortable. But not naming it in my mind means collusion and that is not what my life is about. I realize that it is time for me to extend our boundaries once again. I need to be clear and up front about the values that drive me and this community. You need to know what we stand for. You need to know what Radiance and Recovery mean on the deepest level. In our leadership conversations, we asked Patti to help us through this. Patti’s tradition comes out of following The Word. I want to share her response with you. It touched me deeply and states the heart of the matter. I've been reading the exchanges.. I read the email on why he chose to leave. And within all of this, at least for me, the important piece is what are our corporate values of leadership within Radiant Recovery? At the bank where I am working the trainer said to us the other day, "It doesn't matter if you agree with the policies of the bank (some believing it should be one way, others another way; i.e. differing beliefs), YOU are the bank and therefore you will support the bank policies." In the same sort of fashion, I AM Radiant Recovery. I re-read the values of Radiant Recovery last night (that are listed on the main RR webpage in detail). I wanted to write them here: Simplicity Respect Listening Accessibility Integrity Empowerment Modeling Responsibility I believe adding to that *open and affirming* and stating what that means may be important. For me open and affirming means that we in leadership are here to support recovery no matter what the lifestyle - that our message is one of supporting recovery from addiction period - through love, which means that we offer support without moral judgments. For me it means we recognize the importance of serving ALL people within RR in caring ways. We strive for all the lists, forum, chats, YLD, etc., to reach out to all who seek support and growth through recovery. It means to me that we are free from discrimination on the basis of race, color, gender, age, creed, religion, national origin, ethnicity, physical disability, or sexual orientation. It means to me that we support diversity. So the question for me, and I think for each of us, is - can we each do that? No matter what our religious beliefs are, can we support and serve the community in this manner? And in my humble opinion, having a moral compass doesn't work for me, because it will be filtered through my own personal moral values. My values may be different than yours, or Kathleen's. If I filter everything through it, then it means that I will most likely judge you by what I think is morally correct, what *I* think is truth. It therefore leaves no room for diversity. Now, on that note do I fall short? Yep. I'm human and I say and do things that later I look at and think how hurtful my words or actions were or how judgmental. And I am saddened by it, just as some of the interactions here recently have saddened me. And do I have issues (life stories)? Yep. And sometimes within our interactions here my issues are touched and then I get to work through more pieces of it, more healing, if I choose that path. What is truth? Do I have it, know it? Do I honestly know for a fact that living by rules is not life-giving? I don't know it for you. I only know it for me. I know what is truth for me. I know what is life-giving for me. And one thing I've realized in my path here in recovery is that what I believe today may not be what I believe in the future. For me, recovery is fluid, moving, changing, transforming. It is my desire to embrace our differences as we all work towards sharing our experience, strength, and hope to those in the RR community still suffering. ************************************************** Patti’s comments touched me deeply. They affirm what I most want for this community. And they affirm who I am as a person. So we will add to our values statement, bless the growth, and go back to the work of providing tools for healing for those who want a different way. Kathleen

©Kathleen DesMaisons 2007.

Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:

Gretel, the liaison for the recovery list and the webmaster, puts it all together
Naomi gathers the recipes.
David, who runs the Radiant Recovery® Store talks about what new products we have.

You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter.htm.

©2007 by Kathleen DesMaisons . All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered and use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®. Please visit Kathleen's website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction." Please notify me at kathleen@radiantrecovery.com to let me know where the material will appear.

Banner Photograph by Patti