: Oh for pitty sake!
: I am frustrated and upset with
: myself. I was doing really well.
: (Step 6) I felt so good! Then I
: went "home" (where I
: grew up) for vacation. Oh my
: stars! All the emotional triggers
: and cravings. My family has coffee
: and desert every night! At first,
: I was doing very well. For the
: first time in my life I didn't
: really feel out of control. It all
: started with pie! We went
: blueberry picking. Then a dear
: family member made blueberry pie
: from our harvested fruit. It was
: so "homey", warm and
: loving. (And a childhood memory of
: being loved.) It felt good and I
: didn't want to be left out. I felt
: so stable, "I thought I could
: handle it." Do I sound like
: an addict or what? Slippery
: slopes, and all that... It wasn't
: long before I was eating dessert
: like the rest of them, telling
: myself I was on vacation and that
: I would "fix it" when I
: got home. "Waaaaaaaa...
: " Now, I am a hot mess.
: Caught in the freakin cycle again,
: remembering all to well why I
: wanted out of this cycle so badly.
: I feel like such a failure. One
: good thing is that I got my eyes
: opened! I was "trying"
: this out before. It was an
: experiment to see if I would feel
: better. I felt better all right. I
: thought better. I had more energy.
: I coped better. I was more
: diplomatic in life's sticky
: situations. I was more patient
: with my family. I was less
: critical of myself. I was more
: laid back. All around I liked
: myself better. No sugar for the
: rest of my life overwhelms me to
: tears. I was wondering if I was
: really sugar sensitive... I got my
: flippin answer, lol.
: I know I am being candid. I just feel
: alone, and I figured if I did,
: there is probably somebody else
: out there that feels like me.
: Thanks for listening...

Hi Lucy,

You are hardly a failure

We ALL have been there. It is just part of the process. There is no failure in this program, only learning how to do it better.

Join the step one list. Come back with a beginner's mind. Work on JUST breakfast... Post here every day and let us support you. You will be fine and you can regroup.

warmly,

kathleen