WOW Allison. Your message is really inspiring 
The last paragraph really hit home. That is how I felt almost every day before coming to RR 10 months ago. Some days things are so much better. Right now however, I am going through a rough spot, but at least I now have tools to handle these rough spots - this forum being one of them. So when I read how much you have changed over the last 14 years, I felt real upbeat. Although I have only been given a glimpse, It is such a relief to know that we can be released from the slavery of carrying around that ball and chain.
Funny we invited the upstairs neighbor for dinner tonight. She insisted on making her famous apple crumb cake. I usually have a hard time saying no, and day 3 into detox I am quite wobbly with the temptation. Then by coincidence, I went to the village to get my usual veggies and fruits at the greengrocer. Low and behold, I had won the weekly raffle they offer customers (first time ever after being a customer for many years) and was presented with a HUGE basket of delicious seasonal fruit. I am sure there is enough there for at least 2 weeks. Hence, I told my neighbor to hold out and let's just enjoy the fruit tonight. She was more than happy to oblige. Funny how serendipity can come to the rescue when we need it most!
Jeffrey
: Joy dot: the most incredible sky
: yesterday afternoon, with clouds
: with multiple beams of light
: shining through. And the Sandia
: and Manzano mountains were lit up,
: with a big rainbow on top of the
: south end of the Sandias.
: One thing I would definitely
: recommend is joining the step 6
: list. There, you will find other
: people who are doing detox or have
: recently done detox and can share
: what they have learned. Of course,
: you can still post here as well -
: we would love to hear how it's
: going
: What I remember most about detox is
: the challenges that came up in
: social situations. People were
: used to seeing me eat sugar, and
: all of a sudden I was declining
: it. And when I went to parties, I
: would bring my own treats, so I
: wouldn't feel deprived. I used to
: bring things like berries and
: cream. (I had detoxed cold turkey
: on another program, so it was a
: very abrupt adjustment). Now it
: doesn't bother me at all to have
: people eat dessert in front of me
: and I don't need to bring
: something of my own, but it really
: helped at the beginning. I also
: had to learn new ways of rewarding
: myself, since I could no longer
: sit down and have coffee and
: cookies. (Since I didn't use sugar
: in my coffee, I kept drinking
: coffee for 6 months, but then I
: quit caffeine too, because my
: addiction to it was causing
: problems.)
: I got a dog a few months before I
: made all these dietary changes,
: and I think the exercise I got
: taking her for walks helped a lot
: too. And I found that if I was
: restless, or feeling a craving for
: "something", a brisk
: walk around the block really
: helped. Or I would get some beef
: chili from the deli across the
: street from my office for lunch,
: and the fat and spices would
: satisfy me.
: My life doing the food was so much
: better that I have never looked
: back. I've been eating this way
: since December of 1998, with a few
: small detours at the beginning,
: but once I realized how my life
: was changing, I committed totally
: to doing the food. No more
: depression, crazy thought
: patterns, feeling like the whole
: universe and God were out to get
: me. No more voice in my head
: telling me all day what a loser I
: am, and how I'm ugly and
: unloveable. I still remember the
: day I realized the voice was gone.
: Now my worst low BE day is like a
: good day before the program. And
: now that I've experienced life as
: a sane person, I wonder how I even
: accomplished as much as I did when
: sugar was messing with my brain.
: It was like going through life
: with a huge ball and chain
: attached to my ankle.
: Allison
