Hi Kim

The reason you felt so bad at step 3-4 was probably because you had rushed through the steps, or not stayed on the last one long enough. When we go slowly enough our brain doesn't notice the difference, and we don't fear taking out the "bad" stuff.

Maybe just go more slowly this time. If you hit the same problem, just stay where you are on whatever step until that fear is gone. You can stay on sugars as long as you need to, and will likely feel better the further along the steps you go, so won't want to rush off sugar to feel better.

Just a suggestion

Love

Jane
xx

: Hi all. I used to be here some months
: ago under a different name.

: I started Step one about a year ago.
: Familiar story, I know - rushed
: through the steps up to Step 4 and
: had a huge 3 week sugarfest,
: abandoned my journal... and came
: back. I was advised to start over
: at step one, so I did.

: Since then, I have started over and
: got to step 3 or 4 a few times.
: Then I decide I need to go on a
: diet, or that I am sick of
: worrying about my food all the
: time, or I get depressed and
: craving and go with it. So I leave
: the plan, then come back to step
: one. Truthfully I get spooked at
: step 3 or 4, because I know
: getting rid of white food and
: sugar is coming, and I don't
: really want to do that. Or I
: REALLY don't want to do it.

: My most recent "fall" took
: place in June. My oldest son got
: married (which is a happy thing -
: I enjoyed the wedding and love his
: wife). But since then I have been
: so depressed I am having trouble
: functioning. Time passing, and
: having my kids grow up and move on
: seems to have me in tears half the
: time and when I am not crying I am
: picking fights with my poor
: husband.

: Breakfast is the one thing I have
: kept steady, so I am starting to
: journal again, and for the first
: time I am actually seeing things
: in it. Like, I feel terrible and
: angry in the evenings if I have
: coffee and chocolate in the
: afternoon. I am hoping I can stick
: to it this time; if I don't feel
: better soon I may have to consider
: antidepressants and I so do not
: want to do that.

: Sorry for the long post, I am using
: my real name now (I used to be
: called Vanessa which is a nickname
: my husband used to use), and I am
: going to try to post every day,
: even if it is just breakfast and
: something to be grateful for.
: Today was oatmeal with protein
: powder, milk, nuts and
: strawberries. And coffee. It was
: delicious. And I am grateful for
: this forum of people who
: understand.