Hi Amy,

A lot of us have done the Steps "all at once" ... me too. This is my second attempt and this time for some reason I am able to go slowly. I just sort of settled into a rhythm that made it ok.

It sounds like you are ready to go slowly this time too which is great. Time goes really quickly and before you know it you will notice differences and changes for the positive. Don't be discouraged if you have bad days still, we all get them too but they seem to come less and less the longer we are steady on the Steps. Just ride them out and the next day will be better. I found it helped me to read some of the old posts on the forum and I am slowly going through the old newsletters. I have discovered quite a lot of gems that have helped me doing this.

Sometimes it helps some of us if we join a group that focuses on the Step we are on. And I noticed that some found it helped them if they committed to turning up and posting every day for a certain amount of time (a week or month) to just check in and report on how they did that day.

I am sure you will find what works best for you ...

All the very best in your journey Amy ... I am looking forward to hearing about the changes it brings to you and your life.

Happy day,
Fiona

: Hi; I'm a newbie here, hoping against
: hope that I can do what this
: program tells me to do, and
: further hoping that it'll actually
: help me. I bought the books
: several years ago, read them over
: a weekend ("devoured"
: them, really, because what they
: said made so much sense to me),
: and decided to do the steps.

: While I read and understood the
: exhortation to take the program
: slowly, one step at a time,
: somewhere inside myself I was
: convinced that my case was
: different: that, since I was in a
: hurry to lose weight -- and lots
: of it! -- I'd just exert a
: boatload of willpower and work the
: first four steps all at once. That
: lasted about five days; then I
: gave up in despair and went on a
: binge.

: I recognize that that has been a
: pattern for me: impatience to have
: it all, right away; the desire to
: be the star pupil, the
: against-all-odds success story. So
: I set myself up for failure before
: I've even started. And, in terms
: of this program, I put a desire to
: lose weight over a desire to feel
: better. Clearly, I had that
: backward!

: What has brought me to this forum?
: Three things, I guess...

: 1) Despair. I am, frankly, miserable.
: I'm about 120 pounds overweight,
: sedentary, diabetic, struggling
: with chronic depression, and
: absolutely unable to control my
: consumption of junk food,
: especially sugary foods. I hate
: the way I look; I hate the way I
: feel physically (always tired,
: lethargic, dragging); and I feel
: helpless to control my sugar
: addiction and ashamed of my own
: weakness.

: On the brighter side (and there
: always IS a brighter side)... I
: must have some little bit of hope
: inside me, or I wouldn't be
: writing this to you right now,
: wouldn't be reaching out in hopes
: of finding a community of people
: who understand what I'm
: experiencing and who can provide
: advice and support to help me get
: my bearings.

: 2) The research. I fit the profile of
: the sugar addict perfectly; the
: books make sense to me in a way
: that other guides don't. I've
: recently been doing some
: work/reading on compulsive
: overeating -- which is clearly
: also a problem for me -- but the
: whole idea of eating mindfully
: just doesn't take into account the
: concept of addiction to sugar. I
: CAN'T eat just one ice cream
: sandwich; it's either none or a
: whole box. I'm a recovering
: alcoholic -- quit drinking 20
: years ago, which was approximately
: the same time that I started
: eating lots of sugary foods. I
: didn't see the connection at the
: time, but I certainly do now.

: 3) The community. I learned early in
: my recovery from alcoholism that I
: needed the support of a community
: of recovering people around me.
: Isolation will kill me; especially
: when I'm isolating due to shame
: about my addiction. I need a place
: where I can be completely honest
: about my feelings and my successes
: and setbacks, and where I know the
: people who are
: "listening" to me
: actually understand what I'm going
: through.

: So, here I am. I'm going to start
: with Step One (and ONLY Step One);
: and I'm going to participate daily
: as a constructive member of this
: community. I may not have a lot to
: offer right now (except maybe as a
: reminder of how miserable it is to
: hit rock-bottom!), but I'll offer
: what I can.