This post is more about codependency.

I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for about 12 years. (I left that relationship a little over 6 years ago). I am pretty sure he was SS. Well he moved to another country and the other day contacted me to buy him an airplane ticket back to the states. I know he would have paid me back but he has no credit card to buy an airline ticket. My response was sorry cannot help my card is maxed out. Which it was – I had not sent in my payment yet for that month. I got a nasty response back calling me a liar. And if I did not want to help I should just say that. And that he could not believe that after all these years I would lie to him. (One thing about our relationship we NEVER lied to each other). The email went on and one. I don’t even think I read the whole thing. It was not worth my time.

It made me realize that I am so glad that being in that type of relationship was in the past. The anger and frustration I felt when I read his email … to think that I lived with that type of anger and frustration on a daily basis. My BF now, in the 6 years we have been together, has never raised his voice at me and has never said one bad or negative thing toward me. Getting this email from my ex made me realize that I don’t want nor do I need that type to energy or negativity in my life. I am so glad to no longer have that type of drama in my life.

But when I had left that relationship I still wanted to be his friend because I felt bad that he had such a miserable life and no one liked him. So I wanted to protect him. I remember Vinny at ranch a few years ago pointed out that I was being codependent. Of course I did not agree and was very defensive about it. But than I realized she was right. I always wanted to protect him. We don’t have kids together thank goodness but we have a dog (I have the dog now) and we do keep in contact now because of the dog. That dog is the only thing that he has ever loved in his whole life. I still send pics and updates on the dog as I know that it helps lift him out of his depressive state. But I feel that I have finally truly let go. Not because I don’t care but because I don’t want that type of negativity in my life what so ever.

Kari