Hi Lookilou -
your post definitely did not come across as a rant. It's just that you were describing something pretty subtle. And since I've only been working on the program for a few weeks, it's a little intimidating to respond to someone who's been at this for years! You said journaling is really hard for you. I'm thinking a lot about that step because I've been on step one for a little over a month and I think it's time to get started.

Have you read YLD lately? I recently read some passages on resistance and how a self-protective part of us is trying to resist the program because it doesn't understand and wants us to feel good in the short term. I thought it was such an insightful chapter and so fascinating. And then I put the book down and stopped reading for two weeks. I'm taking this as confirmation that I have a little resistance buddy of my own!

My 4 year old is into gymnastics, so I've been using the metaphor of a balance beam to think about this program. We sugar sensitive folks are trying to stay on the balance beam of steady sugar, steady endorphin, and steady serotonin. If we can just get up there and walk, we'll feel great. But we can't "see" the beam in the ordinary sense. And until we have a better connection with our bodies, we can't "feel" it either until Ouch! We sure feel it when we're so wobbly that we've fallen off and binged. But that's a little late!

So that's where I think the journal comes in. Step one helps you crawl up on the beam every single morning (or stay on it if you're further along than I am). Journal is going to help us learn to "feel" where the beam is. This involves both attentiveness to our bodies and writing stuff down. We can't skip the writing because our internal resistance will make us forget the small details that might be important. Plus our attention spans are shorter than the couple of days that it might take for an initial wobble in serotonin/endorphin/sugar to lead to a crash.

Someday, I hope to be so steady that I can walk the balance beam with confidence, knowing that my journal and other habits will keep me steady and alert me before a fall. Maybe I'll even do some fancy flips up there! Right now I'm just starting to journal and trying to stop "forgetting" to do it.

Best of luck!!! I"m cheering for you!!! There's a step 2 class coming up in a few weeks. I'm planning to take it. Join me?

Take care,
Gretchen

: Hi Mosaic, Thanks for your response.
: I was beginning to think that my
: post was coming across as a rant
: or a whine that nobody wanted to
: respond to

: I have tried to journal. And tried
: and tried. It's just not something
: that seems to work for me. I wish
: it was, as I know it can provide a
: valuable tool. But I still make
: connections, even without it. I
: made a connection between things
: like corn and coffee and how they
: make me feel ... it probably just
: took a little longer then if I
: would have been journalling. Or
: not ... who knows? Maybe somebody
: journalling will come easier to
: me.

: Yes, my current baby step is trying
: to move my morning caffeine/sugar
: to closer to breakfast. In the
: past, I had it after I got to
: work, usually several hours after
: my breakfast. I don't get up at
: exactly the same time every day
: and my morning routine varies. I
: have started working on the timing
: of my morning caffeine/sugar, and
: have been successful some days at
: having it either right after my
: breakfast, while I am getting
: ready, or on the drive to work.

: I want to break the connection
: between work and caffeine/ sugary
: things in the morning. Our office
: is big on providing
: "treats". They often
: show up in the morning, but can
: arrive anytime during the day. I
: figure if I can get my morning
: caffeine/sugary thing to happen at
: breakfast, then it will be easier
: to train my brain that any
: "treats" that arrive in
: the morning can wait until lunch,
: instead of turning the morning
: into a 4 hour sugar
: grazing/snacking episode, which
: often happens with me.

: Well thank you, I agree on the
: tenacity ... I am certainly
: determined to do it, even if it
: does seem to be taking forever.
: