Joy dot: seeing cattle egrets in the fields that have just been irrigated while driving to work

Before I found the program, I was very depressed. I felt like the whole world had it in for me and I was doomed. I always felt like I was on the outside of any group I was in. I was attracted to men who would reject and hurt me. I had a voice in my head telling me I was stupid, unloveable, a loser. And I had crazy thought patterns.

I was constantly having blood sugar crashes, and I was ravenous all day. I would eat breakfast and be starving an hour or two later. I was hyper all day, and when I got home, I was so tired I had no energy for anything.

I would try to have positive thoughts, but I could only stay positive for an hour or so, and then I would be beating myself up for not being able to be positive. I hated myself. I had tried anti depressants, group therapy and all sorts of self help books, but they didn't help me. And I was also a compulsive shopper.

The program has changed all of that. The depression lifted, the voice in my head went away, the compulsive shopping stopped by itself. I no longer have bad relationships. I have steady energy. I can go 6 hours between meals and I am not ravenous all the time. I am like a whole new person.

It took about 18 months to get really steady. Since then, life just keeps getting better and better. I have been doing this plan for over 13 years. I don't even think about sugar or alcohol anymore. It never crosses my mind that I would ever eat or drink them again. And even though I gave up some foods, I eat a much wider variety of foods than I used to before the program.

You are lucky - you are young. I didn't find the program until I was 39, so I lived in misery for a long time. But my advice to you is to take things nice and slowly. You don't have to try to fix it all now. Just do the steps, slowly and in order nad your life will change for the better.
Allison

: Oh, that sounds lovely, I have yet to
: see a toad or frog around here.

: Sounds like because you don't have
: the impulses to run and satisfy
: these cravings, or you don't have
: those strong cravings to begin
: with, you have really stabilized
: your biochemistry! Was it really
: because of doing these steps, and
: sticking to Radiant Recovery that
: you feel emotionally and
: physically you have healed
: yourself?

: This is so inspiring. =)