Thank you so much for your wonderful words =) They help me immensely, you're right - I am definitely just trying too hard, to maybe do all at once and rush things - I am realizing that I can't rush these steps and I feel better knowing that not everyone immediately zips through the steps too! I mean: that it takes everyone different amounts of time on each step, as well.

Yes, I'm glad you understand just what I'm talking about with these crazy emotions that sugar can lead to! Most people who don't have issues with sugar just think 'oh, too much sugar is bad for you' and they simply put the cookies down, or cut it out and no big deal. But they don't experience the brain chemistry out of whack and feeling just all loopy haha.

Well: lets see, definitely some positives, not that major I guess but just the awareness alone is enough for me right now. So many people can be in denial about their issues or struggles and I guess I had this wake up call when I was like 'I WANT RECOVERY' I want to be able to focus more and appreciate the beauty of every-day life! So that's a HUGE step for me. OH and avoiding the driving route to a lot of ice cream and frozen yogort stores! I realize that I don't crave at least these things anymore, and there's a pint of Ben and Jerry's in the fridge and I don't even want it. That's pretty major.

I have learnt to really love beans, lentils/legumes. I am still not sure if I use them the right way since they seem to be interchangable with protein and browns, but I find beans really help me with energy, feeling satisfied, and ha, the thought of me being like 'wow I LOVE these garbanzo beans' even a month ago would have been inconceivable!

Thanks for letting me feel 'okay' about still enjoying that cup of coffee or tea with sugar for now. =) how about you, what are some recent moments of clarity, inspiration or happiness you are experiencing?

: Hey there Kiki,

: Hang in there girl. I know the out of
: control feeling and it is tough
: ... but you can get through this
: by just keeping doing breakfast.
: Then when you are ready add Step
: 2, etc and at the end of it you
: will be so happy you just took
: each little step. Going through
: tough times like this is hard and
: it is hard to take steps forward.
: But keep breakfast going ... just
: focus on doing that one thing.

: It is early days for us both and
: sometimes we don't see the
: progress we are making day to day.
: It is only after a few months that
: we look back and say "Wow, I
: used to do that and don't
: anymore" and "I don't
: feel like this anymore" and
: really see the progress we have
: actually made. And then we will
: feel such a sense of achievement
: and be encouraged to continue.

: There are so many here with your
: story ... who started just like
: you did with the struggle and with
: the out of control feelings and
: the addiction and all that it
: brings. And so many of those here
: have now been here and steady and
: calm and "radiant" for
: years. You (we) can do it too
: even though it can seem like that
: far off unreachable goal. ... it
: takes time to work through the
: Steps but we can choose to work
: forwards ... time passes anyway
: and we can choose to heal, to put
: one foot in front of the other and
: do one Step at a time.

: I will write in your message too
:

: oh dear, I'm a terrible mess at the
:
: That's because it's not a discipline
: thing. I'm sure you have all the
: discipline in the world but if
: your body is working against you
: you need to heal it first.

: I don't mind at all. I am now
: 45. I first started RR on 1
: January 2009 and worked through
: the steps and became really steady
: around May/June and stayed really
: steady until about
: October/November I think and then
: gradually slipped. My biggest slip
: though was stopping posting and
: not asking for help. I came back
: to Step 1 three weeks ago after
: knowing for a long time that I
: wanted to but just not taking that
: first step. I am so happy I am
: here again. I know what awaits. It
: feels really good to feel steady.
:

: Yes, I have (mostly) avoided
: buying pb too.

: Me too, and yes I do feel I
: have made progress and am so
: thankful.

: Is there anything (anything at
: all ... even something little)
: that you can see that is a
: positive change Kiki? You have
: nothing to lose if you keep going
: Kiki. All you have to keep doing
: is breakfast. You are feeling
: emotions and thoughts from a
: sensitive body. They aren't the
: real you. The real you will emerge
: if you just keep putting one foot
: in front of the other. If you
: quit, you lose even the chance of
: moving forward at all.

: AND you don't have to stop sugar and
: everything you have been doing up
: to this time. You keep doing
: everything else as you always
: have. If you can (and I know it is
: hard) see if you can just continue
: having what you normally have
: during the rest of the day after
: breakfast.

: I am talking to myself as well as to
: you

: I don't really know how to
: help you here ... I can only say
: from the emails on the Yahoo Step
: One breakfast list breakfast seems
: to come easier at different times
: for different people. I know that
: for myself I am getting out of bed
: much easier and wanting breakfast
: now whereas when I started it was
: tough and I had to forceably make
: myself have it because all I
: really wanted was a coffee.

: Maybe, it will just have to be a
: habit for you until you master
: more Steps and the appetite will
: kick in later??

: Yes, coffee and sugar are fine
: ... make it how you love it and
: really enjoy it. Sometimes when I
: stop the guilt and think to myself
: that "yes I am craving
: (whatever it is) ... I will just
: get my favourite and really enjoy
: it because I am going to eat it
: anyway."

: I know it seems that everyone
: just says "breakfast,
: breakfast, breakfast, and don't
: worry about anything else you
: eat" but it does make sense
: to listen to those who have been
: successful and steady for years.
:
:
: Keep posting (it wasn't a ramble at
: all) and hang in there girl ...
: you can do it. I would love to
: hear of something ... even small
: that you have noticed is a
: positive change. That would give
: me and I am sure others
: encouragement too.

: And I would love to hear about
: something you really love to do
: ... your most favourite thing in
: the world? Oh, ... and what
: is your favourite
: breakfast?

: Fiona