Hi Fiona,

It was nice to hear your update and your thoughts as you have added them! Congratulations on your new life! ~smile~

I remember wanting to feel better "right now". And I have certainly had my share of opportunities for emotional healing in my four plus years since detox and feeling "step seven"---the support of the food has made difficult life circumstances much easier to face.

Still, it sometimes happens that simple little innocent food and timing issues stack (ugh!) and make me feel less than my best.

Thankfully, even after experiments (failed experiments, mind you!) with breakfast shake, or half of a teaspoon of cocoa, or half of a small apple instead of a quarter, or a new bruchetta sauce, or staying up late one night and not having enough food...there is something inside me that says there are others here who understand, and that things will be better again in the morning...and then I start to look forward to breakfast! And things are always better in the morning. (My constant-companion journal reminds me, too.)

I think it's great that you remember feeling better and I know that the "one step at a time" method will work just great for you! ~smile~ I wish you the very best.

I think your post made great sense. Happy weekend to you, too, Fiona!
Susan S

: Hi all again,

: My wonderful boyfriend (husband
: really but he is my boyfriend and
: soulmate too) will be home soon
: ... he has been away for work the
: last three days so I am really
: looking forward to seeing him
: .

: That was my joy dot ... I am putting
: something happy at the beginning
: of some of my posts but I don't
: often say it is a joy dot.

: Hmmmm, well this is really a
: continuation of my last post. I
: have been thinking. My biggest
: vice is coffee ... I just adore
: and need it but the problem is
: that I sort of revolve my life
: around it and need it so I know it
: is an addiction. So ... I will
: continue to focus on Step 1,
: forget about tapering the coffee
: any further at the moment and
: maybe bring back a little so my
: head feels a bit better. (I
: usually have two small but strong
: coffees every day and had tapered
: down to having half normal and
: half decaf )

: But I will allow myself to do what I
: feel like with the sweet things
: and at the moment I don't actually
: feel like any. So if I feel like
: something I will have it but if I
: don't I won't. I won't try to
: whiteknuckle anything.

: I guess I just want to be steady
: again (right now! ) ... I
: remember all the positive changes
: and I was really only at the
: beginning too. And I also think
: that this time it will be better
: too because I am in a really happy
: relationship now.

: Actually I find it really intriguing
: that I stayed in such a
: destructive relationship so long
: (almost 19 years). I squiggled
: around in the corner of my world
: to find the least uncomfortable
: spot and looked at the positives
: in my life (I am blessed with
: wonderful friends) and (in
: hindsight) medicated myself with
: self-help books, relationship
: books, romance books, M&Ms, long
: distance running and music. And I
: only really acknowledged that I
: felt deep pain and was able to
: articulate it and do something
: about it when I was on Step 7. Has
: anyone else had that experience?

: It sort of feels weird to be posting
: my thoughts like this. I am hoping
: my writing makes sense. It seems
: to at the time and then when I
: read some posts much later I think
: "Oh no! That wasn't what I
: thought I was saying".

: It is the start of the weekend in
: Australia ... Friday night. Happy
: weekend everyone as it comes to
: you,

: Fiona