Thanks Amanda! I've done some Al-anon and one of the things that has been emphasized most to me is to "take care of yourself." That's why I'm doing PnP. As comforting as a big batch of chocolate chip cookies sounds (and, being on step 3, it's still a little hard to type those words without visualizing such a temptation!), I'm learning to appreciate the comfort of being balanced and free of cravings.
Liz

: Dear Liz,

: I'm afraid all I can offer you is my
: own perspective. You see, I grew
: up with an alcoholic father. He
: died many years ago, due to
: complications - he was very sick
: near the end, and ended up in
: hospital, and died there. However,
: what really killed him was the
: alcohol.

: Anyway, what we found helped was that
: he joined the AA - Alcoholics
: Anonymous - and my mom went to
: Al-Anon, and I went to Alateen.
: What helps with this group is that
: you get a chance to talk about
: everything that happens, nobody
: judges you, and the talking also
: helps you heal. Not only that, you
: learn that you're not the only
: person with an alcoholic in the
: family! Mind you, the main thing I
: learned there was how to detach.
: Somehow, belonging to Alateen, and
: later Al-Anon, you learn to
: separate the alcoholic from
: his/her behaviour when he/she
: is/is not drinking. You learn when
: it's the alcoholic doing the
: things you don't like, and that
: type of thing. I think that also
: helps you cope with the situation.

: Okay, in my case, he never really
: managed to curb the addiction to
: alcohol, but it helped us all cope
: with it.

: I suggest you join Al-Anon, as that
: will probably help you learn to
: detach from the situation. If he
: joins AA, great! If not, at least
: you'll learn to detach from
: things, and have other people to
: talk to who know what you're going
: through.

: I hope this helps.

: Amanda G in South Africa

: I bought another copy