Hi Gigi

I know Kathleen has answered this already but just thought I would put a little response in too, though it is really exactly what Kathleen says.

I always thought that I was an introvert, because I used to be scared of people, but at the same time, I liked being around them, (when on sugar I just didn't like them to approach me, but I loved being around people, just wanted to be invisible because of how I felt about myself.)

The BE raisers really do happen on their own. For me, for example, there are lots of little BE raisers, walks, reading, watching movies, listening to music, etc. If for some reason my BE's are too low for me to be interested in one of those, and I feel all "What shall I do, I am bored and can't concentrate", I take a bubble bath. Sometimes I even have to force myself to do that, but then when I have done it, (I think it's the first one to be done because it requires absolutely no thinking about, you run the water and get in it, lol) it opens the door to doing some of the others.

As you go through the steps and go finally go off sugar, you will find your own little list. It's not a conscious thing, I never thought about a BE raising list for example, it's just the things I always liked doing. When I was on sugar I could never sit and watch a movie and just sit, I always had to be doing crossword puzzles or something at the same time, or I never had the attention span, felt like the movie wasn't happening fast enough lol. Now I can easily do that, and enjoy it, but I don't do any one of my BE raisers all day. On sugar I would read book after book with no break, because I didn't feel like or didn't have the concentration to do other things. Now I will read for a time, tidy up, go for a walk, watch a movie etc. That felt strange to start with because I thought my attention span had gone, not wanting to do the same thing all the time!

Hope that helps. Don't worry about it all now, it will all just happen, I know that sounds strange, but think of it as how your brain is drawing you back to foods that make you feel good. Our brains do the same with activities too. All on their own.

Love

Jane
xx

: When I first found this web site in
: 2008 I read an article of
: Kathleen's about learned
: helplessness and feeling safe and
: the connection to addiction. I
: printed it out and re-read it now
: and then, trying to understand it
: all better. I know it's talking
: about me.

: Kathleen says we are born with low
: levels of beta-endorphins. I've
: read often how some of you try to
: cultivate beta-endorphins through
: various activities and
: experiences. When I try to think
: of anything in my life that could
: rival sugar as a BE raiser I can
: only come up with two. I suppose
: as I progress through the program
: and sugar starts to decrease then
: it will be easier to find things
: to take it's place in the BE
: department. Is that how it works?

: I never felt safe growing up and I'm
: an introvert so early on I got
: into the habit of retreating to my
: room. Now I'm living in the same
: house and sleeping in the same
: room as in high school and I still
: have a strong pull to retreat to
: my room, only now it's with sugar.
: I think about it every day.

: I'm not blaming my behavior on living
: in this house with my mother. If I
: was in some other circumstance I
: would still want to retreat and
: binge. But so many memories are
: connected with this house and they
: are all bad.

: Kathleen's article says that
: "You can unconsciously be
: drawn to abusive situations
: because the abuse evokes the
: comfort of beta-endorphins."
: I'm wondering if that's what's
: happening as I live here with my
: mother. I'm recreating that
: feeling of not being safe because
: it's familiar and I get comfort
: from that familiarity in a weird
: way.

: At the end of the article Kathleen
: says "Learned helplessness
: usually means that your first line
: of action is to retreat and
: isolate-the worst things you can
: do". I understand that, I
: know that's what I do. I've spent
: my whole adult life wanting to
: hide. And on the other hand I got
: married, raised two kids, put
: myself through graduate school,
: even went to Europe alone. I
: couldn't have done those things
: without "coming out of my
: room". I often feel like
: there's a war inside my head, two
: equally strong parts of my
: personality pulling me in
: different directions.

: I have felt like therapy is the only
: way out, like Kathleen says, and I
: spent years in therapy. But I also
: understand now that there's the
: bio-chemical part of it.

: I'm talking in circles. I've started
: writing this I don't know how many
: times. It may be that I don't have
: to understand all this, I just
: need to stay with the program and
: it will sort itself out.

: But I'd like your feedback about
: this. I'd like to understand it
: better, to know what others have
: done with the
: beta-endorphin/learned
: helplessness/safety part of this
: sugar sensitive thing. What have
: you done, what has worked, what
: have you learned, how have you
: changed?

: Gigi

: PS I recently read an article on the
: internet "Top Ten Myths About
: Introverts". I can't figure
: out how to put a live link into
: this but if you type in that title
: you'll find it. It has really
: helped me to understand myself
: better.