: I've been binging on sugar and
: gaining weight - about a pound a
: week for the last few months. I'm
: not sure what happened - I had
: been feeling good and maintaining
: a pretty low body weight for about
: a year, and not having binges or
: feeling attached to sweets.
: Something happened and I lost
: control. That's why I'm here. I
: have been doing step 1 for about a
: month and started journaling a few
: weeks ago.
: I know logically this is reversible,
: not the end of the world, and that
: doing the food, healing and
: eventually moving away from sugar
: is the real solution. Not just for
: my weight, but for the painful
: feelings I am struggling with, the
: cravings, and for feeling so
: compulsive and out of control
: around food (really, sugar).
: I am asking for support. I feel so
: helpless and disappointed in
: myself about the weight gain and
: the sugar binges. I feel sad and
: ashamed (I work in nutrition and
: I'm supposed to know how to take
: care of myself and set an
: example.) I feel afraid that maybe
: this is a sign that I'm getting
: depressed again. I feel desperate
: to try to keep my calories at a
: reasonable level (truly
: reasonable, not trying to lose
: weight right now, just to stop
: gaining) and then crazy when I
: fail and find myself binging.
: If you've been through something like
: this, can you tell me it gets
: better? I am hoping for some
: reassurance. thank you for
: reading!
: Bevy
Hi Bevy,
I am glad you are here, and glad you wrote.
The world that you have been in - the one of trying to *control* things is a hard, hard place.
One CANNOT control addiction. And if you just keep trying to do the same ole, same ole...you will get the same results...
When we first started, we had a *binge* list...and it didn't work. People kept talking about the BINGES and the misery. So we took it down...and said...work on the program...
And something funny happened. The more the energy went into the art of breakfast, the less the energy went into the fear and thrill of the the bingeing. You see, bingeing is the ultimate in spiking. It is a HUGE beta endorphin rush. That is why we do it. And then when the rush wears off, we feel horrible and we grit it out and feel awful about ourselves. it is a cycle.
So along comes radiant recovery. We ask you to trust that maybe the steps might work. We invite you to give up that illusion of control. We suggest you stop counting calories. And to stop thinking about sugar, and focus on breakfast. If you binge, you binge...it doesn't matter. What matters is breakfast.
Now, the irony is that we know what we are talking about . The hardest part is the trust part. It means giving up a wee bit of that control . But learning to do breakfast is REALLY fun.... and we can help!
warmly,
Kathleen