well, I am saying that with the benefit of hindsight.

I can remember doing step 1 and 3 and thinking I would never get out of the black hole I kept falling down

and I remember writing in my journal and not looking at what was happening and being very surprised when I felt anxious again. I dont regret those experiences at all, because it was a good teacher

Love that journal review about whites creeping in there. How brilliant you had it all there written in