WOW, GIGI, IT'S SO-O-O-O GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!

I have been thinking of you ever since you last wrote, wondering how you're getting on, how your mom is faring, and how you are managing to juggle things.

I have the highest admiration for you. You have so much on your shoulders.
You committed to 90 days of posting, though posting wasn't easy for you, you said.
And you stuck with it through thick and thin.
Even on that tragic day when Jessie passed, you sent in a short post. It was clear that something hugely difficult had taken place, and still you stayed true to your commitment to the 90 days.
If that's not fortitude I don't know what is!!!

Your program is never falling apart........it follows the ins and outs of the paths of our lives. You cannot compare your situation to others who are living a more or less "regular" life at the moment.
Your situation is a huge challenge, and you are braving it so admirably.

I'm so happy you'll be having a bit of help now.
It is not for many hours a week, but just knowing there will be someone to share the burden with for some of the time is a great relief.

Don't fret about posting or fritos.
Why not just take what feels helpful from the forum, post whenever it suits you, and do as much or as little of the program as is right for you at this time.

Hang in there, I can totally relate to what you are going through from personal experience.

I'll be thinking of you every day, whether you post or not, and even if you have fritos for breakfast.
You know what? I'll think of you every time I sit down to breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I'll say a little prayer for you and your mom. And your sis. How is she doing?

Gigi, a little staying power day by day. Chug along with whatever comes. Be where you're at and know you are doing the work of angels.

Great hugs to you,
and you will get through this,
we are all here for you.

Love,
Sarit

: Hi everybody,

: It's been a long time since I've
: posted. I've thought about it a
: hundred times.

: One day I came here to read and
: everyone sounded so upbeat and
: optimistic and successful - I
: couldn't take it.

: I want to be one of the success
: stories here, I want to be a
: winner, I want to be one of the
: people who has been able to change
: her life because of this program.
: And I haven't felt like that in a
: long time. I knew my program was
: falling apart when I realized I
: was eating fritos for breakfast.

: It's impossible to talk about myself
: without including my mother.
: She'll be 95 next month and I am
: her primary caretaker. At one
: point I noticed that in my journal
: all I ever wrote was
: "exhausted and
: overwhelmed". So I stopped
: writing.

: I've lost track of how many of my
: doctors appointments I've
: cancelled in the last six months.
: That scares me a lot.

: The reason I'm here today is because
: we have a home health aid starting
: to come here two afternoons a week
: and I'm feeling a little
: optimistic.

: In my life, if there is a problem or
: some kind of uphill climb, I work
: hard on it and usually see
: progress or improvement. Taking care
: of my mother is the opposite, she
: gets weaker and more dependent
: every day. There's more to do,
: more paper work, more doctors,
: more meds, a stay in the hospital
: now and then, more bowling pins to
: keep in the air at one time.

: I'm hoping that I can stay engaged
: with everyone here but I honestly
: don't know.

: Thanks for listening.

: Gigi