Wow, kudos to you for being so self-actualized. It can sometimes be nearly impossible for people to get that kind of insight and especially for themselves! I agree with the other post about leaving that door closed. However, going forward I would say don't be afraid to let qualified people into your life and be willing to exchange that energy with them. You have to risk yourself in relationships-- and usually-- when you choose wisely-- it is far more rewarding than simply retaining that energy for yourself. And if you take a fall, trust that you can get back up and try again the wiser.

: This program is helping with my
: everyday life. I have been wanting
: to call an old male friend that I
: haven't talked to in years.
: Actually, the last time we spoke
: he wished me well but asked me not
: to call him again. Why? because my
: mind was so messed up. I was
: trying to lean on him for what I
: don't know and he was so
: frustrated with me. And now I know
: it was the sugar.
: So now that I am a little better, I
: sometimes want to 'get back into
: the world and tell him and others
: what the problem was and how
: better I am now'.
: So I was going to email him today.
: Then I 'felt' my energy and the
: thought of contacting him wouls
: sort of drain my energy and I
: didn't want to lose my energy on
: that now. So I didn't email him. I
: want to , but I also like the good
: feeling I have in myself and don't
: want to lose it. It is like energy
: will go out from me. And I can
: feel it, more importantly I have
: enough to say no now. I wonder if
: I will have enough energy to
: contact people and still be
: energized, like not giving part of
: myself away.