past the dessert tray to the steak

Friday was my 40th wedding anniversary. My husband and I were both sick, coughing and hacking. But my four children had planned to take us out to celebrate our anniversary and that was so sweet of them so we decided to just rough it and go. We ended up at a very very nice restaurant, the kind I dont go into. As soon as I saw it was a fancy steak place I decided to have that steak I had been cravin (I think I have eaten 2 steaks my whole life and I am 58 so for me to crave steak was just very very weird. Until recently I had seen them as toxic but trying to get that warped thought out of my brain). As we walked through the door, there was the dessert tray layered with fancy desserts on fancy plates. It was the weirdest thing and the coolest thing ever that I looked at that tray and had no response whatsoever other than seeing it as a "lesser food." I marched right back and sat down, ordered a New York Sirloin and a baked potato and man, I enjoyed the heck out of that thing. I never even once had a thought of having dessert. About 6 months ago I would have been thinking about which of those fancy desserts I wanted and how to get through the meal and order one without being embarrassed that that was what I really wanted. I know it sounds like a small thing but to be sitting there full and satisfied after eating half the steak and half the potato was the best feeling ever. To not be enslaved by the thought of dessert made me feel so normal. I have not gotten too far on the steps of the program. But I keep trying and I keep coming back for breakfast. I keep loading up on proteins and that has kept me away from binges on sugar. When I do eat a little sugar, I dont go down a deep well of guilt and destruction. I rise again and eat breakfast, which sets me on a straight path. So just the little bit I am doing did something to my brain so that it had that different reaction to that dessert tray. Kind of like an out of body experience....this person was acting normal and felt normal....no baggage...no cravings.....just satisfaction and freedom.