I thought I was getting the hang of breakfast. I was having fun doing the shakes and they were working for me. Then I got sick and did not feel like eating so here I was just drinking coffee again. So I made myself get back on it. Then feeling okay doing great with the shakes. I had even started putting swiss chard in them and that was working great. I was so excited I could get a green in the morning. I had that for a while and did great. Then the shakes started making me feel sick. I am clueless right now of the cause. I never ever have stomach problems and the shake does not really give me stomach problems as much as it makes me feel very overwhelmed, like I have just taken in too many nutrients at once. I can barely function. I did write about this but actually thought I had a handle on it. But it has been going on all week. And I have bronchitis on top of that so I just dont even fell like eating at all. I just feel like slowing down a bit. I kind of feel like I am trying to push too much protein down my gullet. A small piece of meat that equals to the nutritional equivalent of my shake as far as proteins sounds so much better to me. So I rethunk things today. I am going to stew me up a chicken and go to the grocery store and get some things I like. I think I was trying to fit all this protein in my shake (tofu, peanut butter) instead of eating items, such as sausage and canned salmon, etc. I am off the shake for a while just to see how I feel in the morning eating regular food. I tried taking out the tofu and peanut butter and just having the milk and shake this morning with eggs, but still got that overwhelming feeling.

One of the things working against me is that I kind of got brainwashed about meat. I had written before about liking meat now and I do but I still feel like every bad disease is going to pounce on me because I am eating sausage and pork and beef. Mind you I hardly eat it very often, but my mind tells me ugly things will happen. I cannot see meat as a healthy thing. I feel so much better eating it....but I feel guilty. I have this thing in that I am at both ends of the spectrum. I have eaten health food for years and years and I have eaten junk all my life. The middle ground has not been seen by me much. I think that I gave myself permission to eat junk because I was eating health food. I am more afraid of a piece of meat than I am of a big hunk of cake!!!! Why? My brain has been warped.

I am trying hard to get step one down. It is a delicious step with the eggs, sausage and things like that. What is so hard about that? Well my mind will tell me I cannot have an egg every day of the week. Why? Eggs are good for you right?. I have one egg and 2 egg white with it. But if I have it more than 4 times a week I feel like I am going to clog my arteries although I have read it does not do that. I am going to try to allow myself any food for a while. I want to stop seeing food as an enemy. Canned salmon? Too much sodium. I probably got a warning about every food on the planet. I think a trip to the grocery store with food, instead of 'shake" on my mind will help me stock my house with some alternatives. I will let you know how it goes. I also think getting over my bronchitis will help. Until then I keep reading the posts and they help me and so I thank people for writing in what is going on in their lives.