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August 18, 2014 Hi {!firstname_fix} 
I am in Maine now. The water in the cove is grey, the sky is covered with grey clouds of different tones. There is a grey and white sea gull standing on the rail of the deck. He is waiting for Danielle to provide breakfast so he keeps looking expectantly in the window. He doesn't realize that she has gone into town to sort bottles for the recycling center. It is an Island of many wine and beer bottles. The summer people drink wine and the Island locals drink beer. All drink a lot. The number of AA meetings has increased from one a week to three, a hopeful sign.We have a list for mentors and have been talking about Robin Williams. I thought it would be good to share here with you as well. I haven't responded yet because I was so deeply affected by his death I did not have words yet. I know I have had to take some time to let all the feelings settle before I could find some solace. I think we all know that Robin was one of us. We could feel it... the charm, the humor, the wit, the brilliance, and the struggle, the pain, the depression, the angst. He mirrored so much of our stories, it was way too close. Mrs. Doubtfire was one of my most favorite movies in the world. Every nuance, every layer of subtle understanding about divorce and the kids and the joy and the pain was captured on a cellular level. Somehow I missed that he was alcoholic. I don't read celebrity mags or gossip columns, I never heard of the darkness, and yet when I heard *suicide* I got the story all at once. Just out of rehab and it came into fuller focus and oh how my heart ached. And then an email about the Fox news commentator who called him a *coward* and my anger came spilling out about all those who glibly judge us, who have no idea what it means to feel so deeply, to confront darkness, feel there is no way out, to meet pain again and feel that profound hopelessness. To want the pain to stop, to just want the pain to stop. It didn't matter that he was brilliant and loved by a gadzillion people. Ultimately, he faced what we all have faced, the feeling of being utterly and completely alone with nothing to provide a way to do anymore. I have been in that place. I know that many of you have been there as well. And I know that when I do the food, I do not go there. I know that the food holds me, balances me, and keeps me safe. I know that the feelings of grief will pass through and not roll around forever at the loss of Robin. It's funny, I also believe in life after death. My knowing has been shaped by a tiny book called Testimony of Light. It talks about life after and has convinced me that there will be AA meetings, and no doubt later some kind and loving guys will sit with Robin talking with him about a way to heal the pain that got him there. They are kind and will share their stories. For now I imagine he is in transition in some tender place that will help him know that he does not have to have more pain and suffering. This of course is simply how I have made a story that allows me to hold my father's death from alcoholism, to hold my therapist's death from suicide, to hold George's death from alcohol suicide, to keep going and let go of the angst and rage. I have often spoken of the beads of grief that we put on a cord. When we add a new one, it activates all the beads. So many of us have grief cords with many, many beads. And we are so connected, it is part of who we are...and we are the people who have such a hard time with feeling so deeply. We have used so many things to take away the pain, and mostly now we have given that up. Here we are then, hurting and healing. Remember, grief is a natural and normal part of living. It means we cared. We can send Robin our compassion, our tenderness and wrap him with our love the way we wrap ourselves with a blanket of love. We can tell him we understand, we forgive, and that we will continue to bless and thank him for all the joy he brought us. ********** We won't start any new classes this week. I want to take this time to rest and tidy up my heart. These classes will begin Wednesday, August 27, 2014. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:
The class schedule is online. Click here to see what is planned. A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum. Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly. Warmly, Kathleen **********************************************************************
**Quote From Kathleen ** Your body will start to cooperate. It will give you information earlier, more efficiently, and more joyfully. You and your body will become partners in your recovery. **********************************************************************
**Testimonial of the Week ** Joy dot: cuddling with my youngest dog, Seamus. I think he thinks he's a cat. You know how cats always sit on your newspaper or book, or get between you and your computer keyboard? (my cat doesn't, but she lives with 5 dogs and I think she thinks she's a dog.) Anyway, I was reading in bed, and Seamus got in my lap and sat on my book (all 50 pounds of him), and kept getting between me and my book. At one point, I managed to get control of the book and get it between me and him, and then his head popped up over the book and he rested his chin on the top of it and stared at me. I started laughing and gave up. I've been doing the program for over 14 years, and have been on step 7 for a long time, so sometimes my life before the program seems very far away, as if it happened to someone else. But something happened recently that made me think about those days, and how much my life has changed. About 10 days ago, a coworker's 22-year-old daughter committed suicide. It was a very sad and intense week at work, because there's another coworker whose stepson killed himself 2 years ago, and another one whose son was murdered, and they were going through a lot of emotional stuff. Thinking about this lovely young woman who couldn't see any way out but death made me remember how hard my life was before the program. I was so desperately unhappy. I felt that the universe and God hated me and were punishing me all the time. I always felt unloved and unlovable, and in groups I felt left out all the time. I went through times when life felt almost unbearable, and then it would get a little easier for a while. But it never felt good. I hated myself, and I had a voice in my head that was always telling me I was stupid and unlovable. I used to try to do positive thinking, but I could only do it for a short time before I was negative again, and then I'd be beating myself up for being negative. I was always feeling hurt and rejected, and I was afraid to feel happy, because it seemed like anytime I was happy, something bad would happen, and I thought God was punishing me for daring to be happy. Life felt like a horrible burden. It was something I had to get through, not something I enjoyed. My poor mother, I used to call her and unload all my misery on her. I was always in high drama mode. Doing the food totally changed my life. Thinking about how it used to be made me realize how calm my life is now. Sure, I have moments of unhappiness, but they are so different now, and I don't go through months or even years of intense misery. My feelings aren't hurt all the time. I don't interpret everything people do as having to do with me and being an insult or rejection. I don't feel like the universe hates me and is out to get me. I don't feel defective. No, I am not perfect, but I know my heart is in the right place and I am a good person. I have useful abilities. I no longer look in the mirror with hatred and loathing. I don't shop compulsively or get into bad relationships where I will be badly hurt. I still remember the day I realized the voice in my head was gone. It has never come back. My bad days now are like my good days back then. I'm so much more mellow now. I always had a sense of humor - it helped me survive. But my sense of humor isn't as dark as it used to be and I'm not as sarcastic. I'm less shy. I've done some things I never would have been able to before. And I enjoy my life now. It's no longer something I have to survive and endure. It is an opportunity. I see the good things now. My attention isn't all focused inward, in the black pit of my thoughts. I remember as I did the steps, when I was walking my dog, I started to notice things around me, like people's flowers, or butterflies and birds, or the clouds, instead of just being inside my head swirling around in awful thoughts. Now when I go through something hard, those things are a gift from the universe that helps me get through things. I still remember the first time I actually felt joy at being alive, a healthy joy, not the spiky joys I used to feel that were based on exterior things and were always followed by a huge crash. It was at my first ranch, back when we used to go to Ghost Ranch. I climbed a hill before breakfast and I was sitting up there, watching people walk by below, and watching the birds fly, and suddenly I was filled with joy at being alive. One of the ways I visualize the change in life is the game called crack the whip, where everyone holds hands, and they start turning. The person in the center spins slowly, and as you get farther away from the center, you are spinning madly from the centrifugal force. The person on the end is getting tossed around and has to run to keep up. Before the program, I felt like the person at the end of the line, being hurled around by events in my life. And now I feel like the person at the center. I am so thankful for this program. I wish my coworker's daughter could have found it. But I understand the kind of pain someone can feel that would make life unbearable. I am glad I kept going and did not give up. There is hope. Things can be better. I know it is hard to believe that food could make such a drastic difference in your life, but it really does. I remember the blackness lifting when I got enough of the right food. The changes I have experienced seem like a miracle. We can all experience this miracle. Allison **********************************************************************
**How I Found Radiant Recovery ** Hi everyone, my name is Paula and I am from Western Australia. I am up to step two with my program, but just starting to do classes online so I am taking this and the step one class to really get a handle on everything. I came to the Radiant Recovery world by chance after many years of mood swings, binge eating, weight issues, depression, self harm, migraines and trying lots of things but never really finding anything that worked long term. On a trip to the local library with my son, the Potatoes Not Prozac book caught my eye and I am hopeful that this is will be the road to recovery for me. So far I have seen an improvement in some areas, so I am chugging along trying to trust the process. Warm regards, Paula **********************************************************************
** Radiant Recovery® Store ** David manages the Radiant Recovery® Store. He is also Kathleen's oldest son. For any of you making travel plans, here are two great suggestions.
Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better. **********************************************************************
**Radiant Kitchen ** This recipe is one of my favorites. And for those of you with a vitamix or a nutribullet or such, mix this with some ice cubes and create the most incredible strawberry ice cream. Strawberry Soup
Notes: If you use frozen strawberries, be sure to purchase unsweetened brands. You may wish to slightly thaw berries to make processing easier. This soup can be served as a refreshing appetizer or as a light dessert. The addition of black pepper may seem odd to you, but it is an old culinary trick which greatly enhances the fruitiness of the strawberries. Do give it a try! For more great program-friendly recipes, check out our cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site. **********************************************************************
**Radiant YLD ** Usually I would be writing about the joy of chat, the joy of what we are learning for this column. This week, I will simply say to read the article and you will know what we have in YLD and why we encourage you to join us. Stop the craziness. YLD is the antidote to the craziness, plain and simple. If you would like to join, come find us here **********************************************************************
**Radiant Living ** We have a new portal for the Radiant Living program. Come check it out here. Tomorrow will be a discussion about doing *life* when it hurts. This is a time for sharing and connecting. We hope you will join the reflection. If you would like to join us, you can do that directly below. Join Radiant Living Now: click here - $99 If you are not a member, come and join us if you want to be a part of the latest and greatest or just have some plain ol' fun! **********************************************************************
**Our Online Groups ** The Radiantdepression group is all about support for the person who is depressed and trying to work the 7-step program of recovery from sugar addiction. Many of us have struggled with severe depression for years without any hope of finding an end to it. But through doing the food we have found that hope returning and have found light where before there was only darkness. Some of us are taking anti-depressants while doing the food, so we talk about how the two are compatible and we also share about getting through the tough spots together, with support from each other. If you are feeling depressed please come join us. There is hope. **********************************************************************
**Don't Believe All you Read ** Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.
Yesterday, I was scrolling through my Facebook page and came across a little clip that said being fat leads to brain shrinkage and I thought WHAT! that is ridiculous. So I wrote the guy and said, 'Where did you get that bit of information?' He wrote back and said, 'I don't know, from something I read years ago...' So I googled obesity and brain size and got some of the original articles. One study measured brain size and compared normal-weight individuals to obese individuals. They found that the brains of the obese had smaller volumes. Their conclusion was that gaining weight is correlated to losing brain mass. And that, translated into popular media, is basically, *get fat, get dumber,* and of course fat people are less intelligent. Once again the message of *less than* gets thrown out into the public culture. Then I went over to the Radiant Recovery Page at Facebook and someone else had posted another comment referring to this idea. OMG, being fat gives you a smaller brain!!! Most of the time, whenever I see obesity reports, the articles just float by because the bias is so skewed by such a negative media filter that they just irk me and I am not willing to give them any time. This time, I thought, I cannot let this pass without comment. So here are some reflections... CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION The study cited showed that, of the people they measured, the fatter ones had smaller brains. But this is simply an association for that particular sample and it really doesn't tell us much. It does NOT mean, gain weight, lose brain. There is no causation. But let's explore what other things might be going on...
In addition, many, many studies on neural plasticity talk about how an active brain can process all of its functions with something as small as 7% of the brain. So I do not understand how brain size can tell us much about brain effectiveness. It is way easier to measure girth as a correlate than nutrient intake or emotional well being. And in our culture, of course, greater girth means trouble. At least that is the myth. I do wonder what would happen if someone were to measure the radiants whose girth remains but whose diets and lives have changed so dramatically that they are simply not the same people who came into the program *before.* Or whether those whose girths that are diminishing now are gaining brain volume? Here is what strikes me...what we do in Your Last Diet is help you step out of the impact of this flood, this wash of distorted messages that tell you that you are less than because of your body size. Now, I know that most of you would not even realize that implicit message streaming out of one little Facebook clip, but YLD will teach you to hear it and...most important, to reject it as another bite on the butt that puts you down for body size. YLD is about *No More*...it is about reclaiming our souls and saying *you got it wrong, baby. There is more to the story.* First we heal, and then we lose weight.....if we want to....and that is the essence...you get to choose...and if you are balanced and sane and happy and you decide you want to weigh less because it works better for you, then we hand you to tools to do it. We support you in the process, we stand with you, we model how to do it with joy and humor. But while you are waiting, stop believing those silly stories! Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them. Not a subscriber yet? Like what you have read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you: http://www.radiantrecovery.com Until next time!
Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:
Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together. David runs the Radiant Recovery® Store. mosaic contributes to the Notes from the Forum column. ©2014 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter |
