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May 19, 2014 Hi {!firstname_fix} I went to a 12-step meeting today where we were going to talk about what to do with people who were exhibiting *disruptive* behavior in meetings. This is a topic that has come up over and over in the last six months as we have had one guy come in and rant and thrash. We had a couple of almost fights, when testosterone flared and we got chest to chest shouting. We had a number of times when people left, and a number of women who were really freaked out by the energy. All during that time, I have been struck by the range of reactions...irritation, frustration, rage, helplessness, etc. And no one has ever just gone and talked with this guy and said, *You know, that behavior is not all right.* I was thinking about what we do here in the community, how much we have worked over time to be clear about expectations. We used to have a lot of acting out. And over and over and over, I and our leadership team would say, *Nope, not here. We want this to be a safe place.* We developed the Rules of the Road which are sent out every month to every group. I know that probably very few of you read them every month, but most of you have read them at least once. And people do write and ask what they mean. The willingness to ask people to step up creates safety. And safety creates a way to grow. I think the emergence of the new Radiant Living part of our community is a testament to this. Somehow tonight, I feel very proud of what we have created collectively. These classes will begin Wednesday, May 21, 2014. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:
This class will begin Wednesday, June 4, 2014. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:
The class schedule is online. Click here to see what is planned. A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum. Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly. Warmly, Kathleen **********************************************************************
**Quote From Kathleen ** The more you are able to just observe and note your food and feelings, the easier it will be for you to make changes in them. **********************************************************************
**Testimonial of the Week ** You're in a terrible place right now and I don't want to add to your unhappiness, but I know I've made decisions in the past that I just wouldn't have made now I'm steady. I know I lost opportunities, closed doors and went down roads that I needn't have if I was clearer. Before Kathleen's program, everything was too hard, or too sad, or too exhausting, or too upsetting, or too offensive, or too difficult, or too hopeless to solve. Now, everything seems more clear, more calm, and even the crises aren't crises anymore. My life IS difficult, but so much more manageable than the old days of addiction. If you decide to leave or stay, you're going to need strength and perspective and a steady mind to work things out. I'm with Kathleen. Get yourself steady for six months and things will seem clearer and all the "what ifs" won't have as much power over you. In the meantime, doing the program concentrates your energies on YOU instead of the frustration of being with HIM. Instead of focusing on the problems, focus on healing yourself. Become really strong and who knows what you'll decide from a position of steadiness and calm. Eliza :-) **********************************************************************
**Technical Tips ** Sometimes we get a lot of Yahoo questions over and over. I thought it might be helpful to post some of the most requested ones here: If you want to change your Yahoo Groups message posting name, go here. **********************************************************************
**Notes from the Forum ** Glad you are back too! I have not done this really with friends - just family which may well be a bit easier. Though quite a lot has been distant family which is nearly the same thing. I've found it the best thing just to say a few words well in advance...I make a bit of a light-hearted joke about it... "Oh, by the way, I am really a fusspot about my food, I don't eat gluten, sugar because those things really don't suit me, and as I make it all a bit complicated, can I bring some additional food with me? Then you can cook and I can add extras as necessary." I don't go into big explanations and leave it at that. Then I always have some portable yam cake , protein powder, bit of cheese, something to add as an additional thing..tin of pulses works well for me, specially the smallest tin of refried beans. If there's a buffet involved on a visit, I'll take a plate of something like tandoori chicken, falafel, piedmont roasted peppers. As for times, it's a challenge. I used to have to eat to the minute. Anything over and I would get grumpy. But this has got easier as the years have gone by. I have family and friends well trained. But visiting, I would have a good supply of snacks in my handbag to tide me over. Hope it goes well for you! Mosaic **********************************************************************
** Radiant Recovery® Store ** David manages the Radiant Recovery® Store. He is also Kathleen's oldest son.
Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better. **********************************************************************
**Radiant Kitchen ** Brown Rice and Spinach Salad Ingredients:
In large bowl, combine the flax oil, lemon juice, rice vinegar, and soy sauce. Stir in the rice and the spinach mixture. Serves 4 This recipe was contributed by Sheba from the Radiant Recovery Community Forum. From Flax for Life For more great program-friendly recipes, check out our cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site. **********************************************************************
**Radiant YLD ** 
Our approach to weight loss is based on Kathleen DesMaisons’ groundbreaking book, Your Last Diet! This is weight loss for real people. Your last Diet! Is the only weight loss program especially for sugar sensitive people. It addresses YOUR unique body and brain.The first part of Your Last Diet works on healing the addiction to sugar by balancing your blood sugar, raising your serotonin and beta endorphin. (brain chemicals associated with addiction) This extraordinary text describes a process that means you will NEVER diet again. The program heals the reasons why you are overweight. It walks you through a four-phase process to lose weight permanently and totally stop the pattern of yo-yo dieting. The 4 phases are:
This lifetime membership gives you everything you need to succeed at weight loss. There is NO failure in this program. There is no pressure, no stress, no yelling in your face. We think of this as a program for The Biggest Winner! If you would like to join, come find us here **********************************************************************
**Radiant Living ** We have a new portal for the Radiant Living program. Come check it out here. So many of you have heard us talking about the change we planned for the Conversations list and Chats. At Ranch a number of people were asking about where they might post about *life* questions. We decided to expand Conversations into something deeper. Here is the description I have put up about what Radiant LIfe will offer. The stability of your food and the steps will form a foundation to bring you into a new way of living. We will talk about emotional sobriety, finding passion in your life, disarming things that get in the way, program maturation and, of course, spirituality. When we are caught in addiction, we stop growing, we get stuck and stay stuck. Our commitment to doing life without addiction has catapulted us into something unexpected. Radiant Living will allow you to share a dialogue with others – people who are asking the same questions and exploring answers boldly and with the humility that comes with doing the food. These conversations will help you transform fear and give new tools for healing. We look at topics such as grief, crisis, trauma, emotional healing, revitalizing your program and stepping into your big self. So the dialogue will be about the big picture and the practical ideas for daily implementations of the changes you are seeking. The dialogue will meet you where you are and offer ideas that you may not have heard before. Let go of old thinking that growing up has to be hard or painful. This is about joy, discovery, fun and creativity. And, of course, LOTS of laughter. There is no step requirement to participate, only honesty, willingness and openness. Do remember, though, that if you are early in the program and awash with *sugar feelings* we will gently be reminding you to *do the food*, *do the food.* (smile) If you would like to join us, you can do that directly below. Join Radiant Living Now: click here - $99 If you are not a member, come and join us if you want to be a part of the latest and greatest or just have some plain ol' fun! **********************************************************************
**Our Online Groups ** On the Radiant Step 5 list we talk about the importance of browns, about the different grains available - how to choose, how to cook, how to serve. We explore why for some of us wheat may not be the best alternative or not a good one. Step 5 can be exciting and you can learn how to introduce new things to resistant family members. We also call it the 'coming out' step since it's at this step that when we 'eat out' we may seem different to those not familiar with our program. **********************************************************************
**Step 7 ** Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.
Many times people ask me what it means to be on step 7. There is a quality of life that happens that is kinda hard to explain. However, Vicki recently was telling us about her helping her parents transition out of their home into a retirement community. I think all of us who listened to her process were in awe of her role. I asked her if she would write about the process. She has and I am sharing it in this week's newsletter. Vicki is modest so she does not really describe how much she had to do with it working this way. But you will soon see that there was an energy, a loving force that made it happen this way. THAT is what the 7th step is about at its very best. I hope you love this as much as I do. I had the pleasure, and pain, of helping my parents (aged 86 and 87) move from their large home to a lovely retirement community. This was a move that they chose to make. They researched local facilities and visited a lot of them. They attended seminars. And, they made a choice a year ago, in May, to put their names on a waiting list at one of the facilities. They knew that it would be about a year before their name would come up for an apartment, but they were in no rush. When the call came in April that an apartment was available, they asked me to go with them to see it. This was the real start of my involvement. We debated the pros and cons of the location of the apartment – how close it was to the dining room, the laundry facilities, the storage room and the mailboxes. We were not sure that this was the best apartment, but Mom and Dad decided to accept it and then, if they were not happy with it, they could request a different location if one became available. Mom and Dad had 6 months to sell their house and move into their new digs. They started to interview some realtors, and I was there every step of the way. (smile) They really liked one company and gave them the listing. Wouldn’t you know it, the house sold the day the sign went up! Mom went into panic mode. How would we ever get everything done and moved? I suggested that they have the moving company do the packing. All we would have to do is separate things into 'pack' and 'sell'. In the meantime, Dad called moving companies for quotes and decided on one. He discovered that if they moved before May 15th that it was cheaper, so scheduled the move for May 12th. That meant that we had about 3 weeks to get everything ready for the movers. I made helping Mom my priority and spent time with her every day sorting through a lifetime of accumulation. It was very difficult for her to part with anything, but they were moving to a small apartment and she had to make a lot of very hard choices. It helped a lot that some of her favorite things went to family members. We packed up her china service and shipped it to my daughter who lives across the country. I took some treasures for myself, as did my sister and my other daughter who lives locally. They had their great grandsons each select a picture from the walls to take to their own rooms. This part was very healing. Now when my parents walk into my house, they see the pieces from their previous foyer. And, on Thanksgiving we will all enjoy our feast on Mom’s china at my daughter’s house. Dad got graph paper and figured out what furniture to take and how it would fit in. We then went to the apartment and measured and re-measured. Several times, in fact. LOL But, it really helped Mom and Dad to be able to visualize how their things would fit into the apartment. We also contacted a woman who would conduct a house sale of all the things left after the move. This was scheduled for about 10 days after Mom and Dad moved, so that we had time to bring things back to the house that they decided they did not want in the apartment and vice versa. One other service that we utilized was a company that came in after the house sale and took out everything that remained. They also broom cleaned the house so that it was ready for the new owners. That closing went smoothly and now Mom and Dad have settled into their new home. I am very happy to report that my parents are extremely happy with the move. They love the location of their apartment and can’t imagine a better spot. They do not feel as though they are in a small apartment. They are enjoying the social aspects of having dinner every evening with others in the dining room. They have made friends quickly and are so busy that it is hard for me to find them. (grin) For any of you that are facing this large and daunting task, my suggestion is to have your parents as involved as possible. I was there to support and to make suggestions. I helped find people to do the heavy work. I was a calm and reasoned voice when tempers flared or when Mom got really emotional. I was there to help sort, supervise the packing and moving, did a lot of the unpacking and tried to make the move as easy as it could be for my parents. My sister was a big help when she could be here. (She lives and works in another city about 2 hours away.) The best reward is to hear the happiness in their voices every day. And, I know that when the day comes that I lose one of my parents, a large network of friends will support the other. The one left behind will not be eating alone. My parents never wanted to become a burden on my sister or me, and this move has given them the confidence that they can remain independent and maintain a social lifestyle. Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them. Not a subscriber yet? Like what you have read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you: http://www.radiantrecovery.com Until next time!
Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:
Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together. David runs the Radiant Recovery® Store. Steph provides the Your Last Diet column. mosaic contributes to the Notes from the Forum column. ©2014 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter |
