Trying Step Two for 2 Years


Last week, we had a number of conversations in the community about how long the steps should take. People were sharing about not being able to move beyond journaling. As usual, there was a lot of encouragement and support. As a group, we are kind. We care about one another; we listen and hold one another up.

But, today, I am going to add another perspective. I am going to challenge you. If you want to be healed, you need to take action. Nodding at the idea but not acting will never heal you. Addiction has you by the throat. It has its icy hands around your heart. It is stealing your life.

Support will help. But sometimes kindness helps to keep you stuck. Sometimes a greater kindness will say, “If you want what we have, do what we do.” Feeling miserable about your life and doing nothing means that things will not change.

Sugar sensitives have a hard time committing. Usually we wait until it is really, really bad to take action. This is natural. Our unbalanced biochemistry tilts us in the direction of spinning and being stuck. Sugar makes us immobile. Sugar saps our spark and dilutes our motivation. It deflects intention. And if we just “wait” for it to get better, we will wait a lifetime.

At some point, healing requires commitment. It demands saying, “I will do what it takes to get well.” It means that our intention overrides the sugar effect. It means that we actually “do” the journal. Even though it is hard and requires paying attention. We stop flapping and we start focusing. We stop saying, “You know, I have ADD, this is too hard for me” and we say, “What do I need in order for this to work.”

When you make this commitment, you come to the lists, to the forum with a different frame of reference. What is there to learn? Who can guide you? This community has the most extraordinary people in it. People who are skilled and competent with the program. People who have been where you are and are not there now.

Ask for help. Rather than staying stuck, commit. If you do not know what to do, say so. And then LISTEN. Here is an example…

Someone comes to me and says, “Kathleen, my life is overwhelming, my sugar is out of control, I cannot find my way, I am in pain, I don’t know what to do. Will you help?”

I say, “Eat breakfast.”

“Oh, I do that already. I was been doing Atkins for 5 years. I just can’t get the journal down.”

“Do you eat within a hour of getting up?”

“Well, most days. Well, some days. But I am really busy. I have 4 kids and it is a rush to get everyone off to school.”

“Are you getting enough protein?”

“Well, of course. I have 2 eggs every morning.”

So I wait. I figure this is a person who is not ready. She goes on the forum and starts talking about the kids and the stress and her life and not being able to journal. She gets suggestions about the journal and for every one there is a reason why that can’t work for her.

I have been called “harsh” because I am demanding. I have been called insensitive because I do not get caught in the swirl of the kids and time and the job and the “stuff.” I have been told I do not understand how hard it is. I have been accused of being curt because I don’t get into a long discussion about how hard it is.

How hard it is does not matter. Of course it is hard. If it were easy, we would have all healed many years ago. Sugar addiction is nasty. It takes commitment and courage. It takes willingness. But you do not have to do it alone, or by white knuckling it. Ask for help and then listen. Follow instructions. Do the steps. One at a time. In order. With enough time for your body to integrate the pattern. Accept that there is a reason, a very powerful one, that they are in the order they are. Consider that someone might know something more than you do about how to heal this nasty stuff. Be outrageous and consider that the people who have gone before you really, truly do have something to offer you.

Ask for guidance rather than hugs. And then commit. Whatever it takes. And watch the miracle unfold. Your body will change. Your spirit will change. Your life will change. Beyond anything you could ever have imagined.

(c) Kathleen DesMaisons 2006 All Rights Reserved