Some Thoughts on Step 7
A number of people have asked me how to do Step 7. They want to know what it is, what kind of magic comes on the day it arrives. Step seven is different from the other steps. I don't think there is a moment so much as a process. Step seven is about learning all the things that you 'forgot' while you were off using your drugs of choice - sugar and white stuff.
In alcoholism treatment, we know that getting sober is really just the beginning of treatment not the end. Here, step 7 is not the end of the process but the beginning of the life phase. But it is different from the other steps because we don't tell you how, we support you in discovering what and how your discoveries work for you. You might find that exercise grounds you so you work on that first. You might see that taking omega three fatty acids such as fish or flax oil is in place because you put those in your shake. But maybe you do not know how to play and this scares you and sends you into a panic. Or perhaps you discover that you have no intimacy skills. Using sugar and white stuff kept you numb so you didn't have to deal with the fact that your husband uses porn as a way to cope or your girlfriend is an alcoholic. You may even feel that step 7 is no fun and overwhelming.
You may feel that you did all that work to 'arrive' and now this huge mountain of 'more' makes you feel totally overwhelmed. This is natural and is simply part of the process. But it is disorienting and our leadership team has been thinking about it a lot. Val suggested that part of the problem is that when our food is steady we simply live step 7 and really don't talk about it much. So the people new to it don't have a role model to understand that doing the laundry without resentment is what step 7 is about.
Step 7 demands a different quality of doing the food. It means attention to timing, being meticulous and not obsessive, it means being consistent and attentive. And staying connected. Justas (that means sloppy food or sloppy timing) can creep into Step 7 really easily and then the joy of it turns back to resentment about all the 'work' again.
At any rate, I thought you would enjoy the quick start list I sent to the Step 7 list. And, also, you have gotten me so excited by this reflection, I think we should do a Step 7 class and have one of those great dialogues about it.
The Baby Steps Through the Program
Step One: breakfast with protein
Within an hour
Enough protein
Browns with it
Step Two: Journal
Step Three: Three meals a day at regular intervals
Lunch
on time
enough protein
browns
Dinner
on time
enough protein
browns
No snacks
Step Four: Vitamins and potato
Vitamins
On time potato
Right size potato
Step Five: Browns
Step Six: No sugars
Step Seven: Get a life
Water
Omega 3 fatty acids
Exercise
Moving
Walking
10 min
30 min
Weights
Playing
Reflection
Prayer
Yoga
Meditation
Journaling
Intimacy
Time alone
Time with others
Open heart time
God time
Study
Listening
Obedience
Regular life stuff
Laundry
Bills
Other Stuff (grin)
(c) Kathleen DesMaisons 2006 All Rights Reserved
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