Sugar Sensitive Children
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Many of us have sugar sensitive children or grandchildren. No surprise. If we are sugar sensitive ourselves, chances are, they are. So we'll have these bright, creative, sensitive, charming little ones who are all over the place, moody, demanding, incessant, energetic and bouncing from being totally unable to pay attention to being locked on one idea for hours.
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What Are We To Do
If we think we struggle with a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality, our children are 1000 times worse. And now that our own lives have a little sanity, our out of control children may seem even more striking in their volatility. What are we to do?
Do we try to take them off of sugar and create a 'clean' house in a night? Now you know and I know that you want to create alternatives. But we want to make these changes in a realistic and effective way. We want to do something that will actually work. Cold turkey is not it. Let's look at how to start.
First of all you need to be tender and firm with these little sugar sensitive dynamos. Our sugar sensitive children are both darling and obnoxious. They are fully aware of their volatile personalities. Way better than you might guess. And you can bet they have internalized the societal (perhaps even your) message that their 'style' is sometimes 'bad.'
Sometimes They Are Truly Obnoxious
You need to let them know it's not a personality defect - they just got Mom's body. We need to do things to start them feeling better. Talk about sugar sensitivity and that this behavior is NOT because they are bad. It is real and sometimes they, like you, are truly obnoxious. But this is a function of biochemistry. It does not mean that they or you are bad people. It only means that when your biochemistry is off, your behavior will be off.
Start with an explanation of carbohydrate sensitivity. You can use words like volatile blood sugar. They will learn the meaning. Explain that their body uses food as fuel. If it's not the right kind of fuel, their bodies won't function properly.
Draw a picture of what happens with fuel in the body. Make a little graph for them. When they wake up, they don't have any fuel. They eat and get fuel. As they use it up, the curve starts going down. When it starts going down, they get into trouble. Talk about what kind of behavior happens when their blood sugar is low. Cranky, crabby, whiny stuff.
They Can Discover The Relationship
Then have them write how they think they might feel at the different parts of that picture. This way they can discover the relationship of what they are eating to what they feel and do.
Now you may think your kids aren't old enough to get this concept. You may be surprised at how insightful they are, even when they are very young. I have taught kids who are three and four this idea. I have had six year olds keep a food journal with pictures and chart their feelings with a graph. One six year old came back to me and said, 'Yah, I figured out I get in trouble when the line goes way down.' He was six!
Children love food journals. If they can't write let them draw pictures or use stickers. Help them create their own feelings list. Make a game of identifying feelings. Encourage them to use code in their journals. Show them your own journal. Be outrageous and let them comment on what you were feeling on a given day. Remember that kids already know the effect of food on behavior. They live with you!
Staying Steady
Your children need to learn how to keep the line very steady so that they stay out of trouble. Teach them about:
Regular and consistent meals. Breakfast is essential. Not skipping lunch. Making sure dinner is on time. Basic stuff we may forget because we are sugar sensitive. This is true even with toddlers who may not tell you they are hungry. Don't let mealtime get erratic or late.
Different kinds of protein foods. Cut out pictures from magazines to show protein foods. Let them help with the grocery shopping. Let them chose proteins that they like. Explain that they need to have one of those foods in their lunch. They can still have the Ding Dongs, but now include protein.
Serotonin
Teach them about serotonin. Teach the scientific words. Kids love knowing this stuff. Tell them that serotonin is the brakes of the brain. And when you are sugar sensitive, your brakes don't work as well. You have a hard time saying 'no' to things or if you fly off the handle or you can't pay attention [parents with ADD children, take heed].
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Teach them that you and they together are going to get a brake job. This will help with saying no or paying attention. It will help with not getting in trouble. Let them help to identify how the brakes might help them.
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Remember that chewing releases serotonin. Repetitive motion release serotonin. Sweeping your room will help you say no. This is true; I am not making it up.
Going Slowly
Introduce brown things slowly. Teach them about whole grains. Let them shop with you and go on a treasure hunt to find brown things. Even very little children can do this. Rather than reinforcing what they 'can't' have, encourage the new things they can have. If they refuse to change from Wonderbread to whole grain bread, take a small step with brown Wonderbread. Help them to guide you. Go slow enough that no one gets weird.
Start talking about sugars way before you even think about reducing them. Get out the 'Sugar, Sugar Everywhere' list from the book. Make a game to see who can find the most different kinds of sugars in the foods you eat. Have them go on a treasure hunt at the grocery store. Teach them to read labels. Teach them to see how manufacturers sneak in the sugars. Put together a scrapbook of labels with funny sugar names.
Introduce the idea of eating less sweet food. Find foods with less than 10 grams of sugars in them. Ask your kids if they would like to try a mostly 'sugar free' life. Work with them in the process. Don't bombard them with info. Play with it with them -- let them own as much as possible. Let them guide you in the game.
No Sneaking
Explain things to them - be up front about it, don't try to sneak it in without discussing it with them. Be firm about the change after you agree to try it out. Remember that addicts do not normally choose to give up their drugs until things are bad. Simply develop a detached attitude.'I know you're not going to like this, but let's see how we can manage.'
If you are ambivalent with your own program, I guarantee you, kids will know. They will hone in on the most vulnerable place, time and food you have, 'Oh, please, Mom, just once won't hurt!' Remember sugar is NOT love. Love is love. Time, attention, caring is love. Sugar is NOT love.
Create Change Together
If you have more than one child and some of them are not sugar sensitive, do not single out the sugar sensitive one for the change. Have the whole family change together. The most difficult of all worlds will be if your partner or spouse either thinks the whole thing is crazy or isn't about to give up his/her sweet foods. Then you will need to decide what gift you will give your children.
It is possible to create a sugar sensitive program without spousal cooperation. You simply need to say something like 'Daddy isn't ready to give up his sweets yet.' But you can say you aren't going to enable the process. You won't be baking them; you won't be serving them.
Now, you may think I am being harsh. But I am speaking from a profound conviction that sweet foods screw up a sugar sensitive biochemistry. The biggest gift we can give our children is to change their diets. It alters self esteem, it alters the capacity for intimacy, and it alters the ability to pay attention and focus. This is not some silly little idea here. It is life changing. And if we KNOW that in our cells, and we have experienced what it does for us, why would we not want to give it to the people we love most?
(c)Kathleen DesMaisons 2006. All rights reserved.
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